the two pie charts below show the online shopping shakes for retail sectors in Canada in 2055 and 2010

the two pie charts below show the online shopping shakes for retail sectors in Canada in 2055 and 2010
These
given
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apply
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pie charts illustrate four different retail categories sold online in proportion, include:
electronics&Appliance
Correct your spelling
appliance
, food& beverage,
home
furnishings and
video
games
.
Firstly
, in 2005, Electronics &
appliance
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appliances
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predominated the whole kinds of products, with more than a third of the total.
While
it had a decline of 5% to 30% in 2010,
but
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it was still the second
popular
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most popular
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option to choose.
In addition
,
Home
furnitures
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furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
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accounted
a
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for a
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quarter of the total in 2005,
however
, it decreased significantly to 15% by 2010, indicating the change channels of
home
furnishings’
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furnishings
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selling.
Secondly
, food&beverage and
video
games
constituted less than the other two products, with 22% and 18%, respectively,
while
after
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apply
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5 years later, food%beverage increased dramatically to 32%, and
video
games
rose to approximately a quarter(23%), which means the requirement of these two kinds of products varied positively.
To sum up
, the consumption of
electronics&Appliance
Correct your spelling
electronics and appliances
and
home
furnishings
had
Wrong verb form
has
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been not
that
Correct word choice
as
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essential
than
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as
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before,
in contrast
, the
increasing
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increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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food&beverage
Correct your spelling
food and beverage
and
video
games
indicate
Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
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people transformed concepts of recreation and food.
Submitted by xhwangg1231 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words home, video, games with synonyms.

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