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Band 4

when asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time,people would always choose not to work . do you agree or disagree with this statement

#life #work #time #people
throughout history,
people
send
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spend
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 most of their time
workingas
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working as
working
 it is the only
legititudde
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legitimate
 option for survival many ,
however
, think that if a person had a choice of working or not , he would select
for
Change preposition
apply
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the second option. A notion about boring and routine work
prerails
Correct your spelling
prevails
 among the majority of the population.
Nevertheless
,
considery
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consider
considering
 that most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people's
Change noun form
people
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is
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are
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dedicted
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dedicated
 to work, for many it is a matter of life to have a suitable job,
that is
 why they are looking for a job until it
would appeal
Wrong verb form
appeals
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 to them and bring them rays and
falfulments
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fulfilment
. Mostly creative
people
 , like bloggers on
Add the comma(s)
youtube,
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youtube
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YouTube
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 are constantly searching for new come out and new subcribes because they are motivated and inspired by by their profession.
Therefore
 there is no reason why they
abondon
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abandon
 working life. despite that, many
people
 may vote it
suvour
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savour
 of working because of the community that surrounds them . The job allens at to do final
people
 who have
simililar
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similar
 interests that, in turn, make the bound between
people
 stronger.
Progammes
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Programmes
 in IT companies,
for instance
,
besides
 working at the same place,
also
 gather for
partcipation
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participation
 in various competitions even in their
sqaretime
Correct your spelling
spare time
.
This
 is a profound instancely on lives, perhaps are projected to work. it can be
marvelous
Change the spelling
marvellous
show examples
 with many
people
. Thereby, making future restraints the final countdown to effort-avoiding activity. Taking all points into account,
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 prefer having
a
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apply
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growth without
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 because of unaccountable stress, uninteresting tasks, and less deserving recess for workers.
Hence
, making an unoccupied heart a craving desire for
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.

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grammar
The essay has several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Improving grammar and sentence structures will make the ideas clearer.
structure
The essay's introduction and conclusion are not well-defined. Creating a clearer introduction and a summarized conclusion will help in presenting a well-rounded argument.
examples
Including more specific examples and detailed explanations will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task response
The essay addresses the core of the prompt by discussing people's preferences about work.
examples
The point about creative people, such as bloggers, finding fulfillment in their work is a strong example.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
What to do next:
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