IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#government #money #railways #roads
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Regarding the transportation system of a country, the question
whether
Change preposition
of whether
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 a bigger budget should be dedicated to building
railways
Use synonyms
 than roads has been at the
center
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centre
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 of many ongoing debates. Considering
railways
Use synonyms
 as providers of a fast, yet very safe
jounrney
Correct your spelling
journey
along with
Linking Words
 considerable efficiency, I deeply agree with the idea. First and foremost, trains and
railways
Use synonyms
 are considered worthy of more investment
due to
Linking Words
 the speed at which they can transport people and goods. The speed rate of cars pale in comparison with what trains offer.
This
Linking Words
 is, surprisingly, accompanied
with
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by
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 a higher sense of safety which is
eveident
Correct your spelling
evident
 based on the statistics of car accidents on roads which outweighs the rare train accidents.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the money spent on
railways
Use synonyms
 can bring about a more efficient experience of moving. Trains,
in other words
Linking Words
, own the potential of accounting for much bigger
quanities
Correct your spelling
quantities
 of individuals and products being moved from one place to another.
This
Linking Words
,
as a result
Linking Words
, will
end
Verb problem
result
show examples
 in more efficiency which is invaluable to a country. All things mentioned, it is crucial to note that
railways
Use synonyms
 can create accelerated, secure , yet efficient versions of transportation which are of high value to a government.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is logical for them to invest a higher amount of money in
construction
Add an article
the construction
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 of
railways
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.
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task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific countries or instances where investment in railways has proven beneficial could be helpful.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for minor language errors such as 'eveident' instead of 'evident' and 'quanities' instead of 'quantities'. These errors can impact readability.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both the benefits of railways and the reasons for prioritizing them over roads.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.
coherence cohesion
Main points are clearly supported, and the essay maintains a consistent focus on the benefits of railways throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • environmental footprint
  • efficiency
  • pollution
  • cost-effectiveness
  • economic development
  • accessibility
  • public transportation
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • initial investment
  • maintenance
  • upgrades
  • rural
  • urban
  • last-mile connectivity
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