When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
Many individuals got
opinion
that they would live without doing jobs, Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
whitls
Correct your spelling
while
whites
other
think they should spend all Fix the agreement mistake
others
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
on
working. Change preposition
apply
This
writer believe
that working has become a vital part Change the verb form
believes
in
Change preposition
of
people
life and will give some opinion about Change noun form
people's
this
.
It is true to said
that working is the best way to reach success when Change the verb
say
people
spend a lot of time on
doing work, their skills and experience can develop a lot. On top of that working is the shortest way Change preposition
apply
went
to your passion. Just Change the verb form
to go
people
who try hard, learning
and Wrong verb form
learn
working
can get to the top of the world, have a lot of respect from others and make their parents proud.
From Replace the word
work
that
it can be Add a comma
that,
agree
Wrong verb form
agreed
people
that don’t
want to find jobs will ruin their future. Without finding Correct pronoun usage
who don’t
job
or Add an article
a job
working
they won’t reach and catch up Replace the word
work
other
Change preposition
with other
people
in this
era, just playing and lying around houses, they won’t earn enough money for living
, Change preposition
to live
without
Correct word choice
and without
home
they will become Add an article
the home
a home
a
homeless. On top of that when Change the article
apply
people
looked
at them, they will Wrong verb form
look
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
disgusting
, angry, Replace the word
disgust
annoying
, their family will be disappointed and they will get redundant soon Correct word choice
and annoying
these day
.
In conclusion , working is good for Change the determiner
this day
these days
gain
Replace the word
gaining
Correct article usage
a careers
careers
, Fix the agreement mistake
career
future
jobs. It can support community and country Correct word choice
and future
developed
. Replace the word
development
However
doing or working too much can Add a comma
However,
get
harmful Verb problem
have
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
to
your health.Change preposition
on
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task response
Your essay needs to address the question more explicitly. You should take a clear stance on whether you agree or disagree with the statement and consistently support this position throughout the essay.
task response
Your arguments should be more developed and specific. Use relevant examples to illustrate your points. For instance, give examples of individuals who have succeeded through hard work or highlight the consequences for those who choose not to work.
coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea supported by clear explanations and examples. This will make your essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clear logical connections between your paragraphs and ideas. Use transition words like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Moreover,' and 'Therefore' to guide the reader through your argument logically.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the grammatical accuracy and the complexity of your sentences. This will help convey your ideas more effectively and make your essay easier to read.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a conclusion which summarizes your main points.
task response
You recognize the importance of work in a person's life, which shows you understand the essay's topic to some extent.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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