In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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It is sometimes induced that children are able to obtain everything they want if they attempt hard in some cultures.

Although

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this

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belief can come with several advantages, it has

also

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negative points that affect children's futures. Hard work is known as the most significant key to success to achieve any stuff among many nations. In terms of disadvantages, parents may put high pressure on offspring to push forward specific goals. Regarding

this

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stress, they may encounter numerous mental issues like depression and tension.

Moreover

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, elders might inject fake hope into the young's minds when their goals are not practically achievable.

For example

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, many parents force their girls to become engineers in Iran and encourage them to try as much as possible.

While

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most of the graduated girls with an engineering degree are not employed.

On the other hand

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, underestimating the benefits of the aforementioned strategy to snatch every purpose is not logical. First of all, it may increase a warrior spirit to take risks to go toward the ultimate goal.

In addition

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to that, it may reduce disappointment status. The more they attempt, the less they become hopeless. In

this

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regard, trying plays a role as a self-motivated motor in which the whole goals are likely to be obtained.

As a result

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, people become independent and they actually believe that the only entity that aids them to succeed is themselves. In conclusion, several traditions are of the opinion that young people can achieve every purpose just by striving.

While

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it become advantageous in some aspects namely fighting power, it has

also

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negative effects on an individual's psychological health.

a.danialbahramiSat Jan 25 2025

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task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything if they work hard. However, the examples could be more relevant and varied. Consider using more diverse examples that show different perspectives and outcomes, especially positive ones.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph develops a single clear idea. Some ideas in the essay are not fully developed and could benefit from further explanation or evidence to be more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and variety. While the essay communicates its message, enhancing sentence variety will make your argument more persuasive and flow better.

structure

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a nice frame to your essay that focuses on the idea presented in the question.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by considering both the positive and negative aspects, which is the main expectation of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Your opinion

A man called Pete who is friend of friend, is planning to visit town. Write a letter to Pete. In your letter introduce yourself suggest somethings to do in your town mention one thing you would not recommend

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Space exploration requires vast sums of money. Is the amount of money spent on space research justifiable? Could the money be better spent?

In recent years, some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the countryside. What problems could this cause? How could these be reduced?

Learning English at schools is often seen as more important than local languages. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it more important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure survival of local languages and if so, how?