IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years
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Nowadays, there are several modern educational methods to support children
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
 a good grasp of depth knowledge
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to achieving comprehensive qualifications.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individuals believe that it is necessary to spend most
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying .
This
Linking Words
 essay
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
 completely
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 opinion. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 have the right and obligation to
study
Use synonyms
, so they must
study
Use synonyms
 hard
within
Change preposition
with
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 intense learning intensity.
Students
Use synonyms
 do not have work,
most
Correct word choice
and most
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 of their
time
Use synonyms
adapt
Correct subject-verb agreement
adapts
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 to their educational process.
Besides
Linking Words
, their parents supply
aquate
Correct your spelling
adequate
equate
 living quality which
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 to development of
teenagers
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 they need to get
educational
Correct article usage
an educational
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 academic without distraction.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 in hectic curriculum, they can avoid temptation
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to guarantee high results in studying.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
experiencing
Verb problem
working
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 full-
time
Use synonyms
 in education for under
18-years
Correct your spelling
18 years
 old
Use synonyms
students have
Wrong verb form
has
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 numerous benefits.
The
Correct article usage
Teenagers
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 can devote more
time
Use synonyms
 to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 a wide range of
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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,
Correct word choice
and gain
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gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
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 knowledge
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to getting high
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
academic
Correct word choice
apply
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in order to have lots of opportunities in
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 thing not only
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 get away
remote
Change preposition
from remote
show examples
 evils but
also
Linking Words
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 advantage of
time
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 hard.
For instance
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 have
determination
Add an article
the determination
show examples
 and invest a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 in studying, they will have more
time
Use synonyms
 to improve their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and enhance
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
, leading to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a high living quality. In conclusion, devoting full-
time
Use synonyms
 to
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 curriculum has several positive
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
 on
teenagers
Use synonyms
.
Leading
Wrong verb form
This leads
show examples
 to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 individual abilities comprehensively and
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
show examples
 remote evils,
therefore
Linking Words
 taking advantage when they are young is necessary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 young generations.

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general
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and that idea is clearly introduced, developed, and concluded within the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of ideas by using clear and varied linking words and phrases between and within paragraphs.
task achievement
Strengthen your arguments by using more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Try to avoid overly general statements.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, providing a clear structure.
task achievement
The writer has made a complete response to the prompt, addressing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Effort has been made to present clear ideas and reasoning in support of the main arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
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