Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years

It is widely debated that individuals should spend their full time

for

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apply

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learning until they become

an adults

Correct the article-noun agreement

adults

an adult

show examples

This

author strongly

agree

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agrees

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with

this

viewpoint because of the knowledge and high

wualfications

Correct your spelling

qualifications

qualification

through the academic period.

Firstly

, the large amount of accomplishments which helpful for society in both personal and professional life will

be enhance

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be enhanced

show examples

through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education.

In other words

, students can

developed

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develop

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comprehensive by improving their problem-solving skills, teamwork and

communiction

Correct your spelling

communication

skills.

For instance

, individuals can learn how to be more creative and flexible through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

outdoor

curiculums

Correct your spelling

curriculums

curriculum

from

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show examples

school.

Furthermore

academic

Correct article usage

the academic

show examples

environment

provide

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provides

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some other soft skills

such

as swimming, biking,

hiking

Correct word choice

and hiking

show examples

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Therefore

, education is necessary for teenagers

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

can

Add a missing verb

be stricted

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stricted

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strict

and

controlled

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control

show examples

their

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

Moreover

, spending most of

time

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the time

show examples

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apply

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studying can easily achieve goals or get abundance

sucessfully

Correct your spelling

successfully

. These professional degrees play a principal role which

have

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has

show examples

a big impact on your application jobs.

Additionally

, it will help individuals have more

opportunity

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opportunities

show examples

to promote and earn more money.

This

means

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apply

show examples

people will get

well-qualified

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a well-qualified

the well-qualified

show examples

lifestyle.

For instance

according to

a study

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show examples

Oxford

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

shows that more than 90% that famous big

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

over

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apply

show examples

the

word

Correct your spelling

world

show examples

will consider employer

depend

Wrong verb form

depending

show examples

on their amplitude. In conclusion, teenagers who stay

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apply

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full time for learning will have numerous benefits in the future.

However

, overstudying may

get

Verb problem

cause

show examples

stress or other mental problems

Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

unencourage

Correct your spelling

unencouraged

by society.

Tue Jun 04 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. Discuss more perspectives for a balanced view.

task achievement

Proofread for grammatical errors and ensure consistent use of tenses. For example, 'wualfications' should be 'qualifications' and 'developed' should be 'develop'.

coherence cohesion

Sequence your ideas more effectively to enhance logical flow. Use clearer topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea.

coherence cohesion

Use more varied linking words to improving coherence. For example, 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Therefore' can be diversified with phrases like 'Additionally', 'As a result', 'Consequently', etc.

coherence cohesion

Make sure the conclusion effectively summarises your main points and restates your position clearly.

task achievement

Strongly relate the benefits of full-time education to personal and professional success.

task achievement

Shows understanding of the topic by linking education to important skills like problem-solving, teamwork, and communication.

coherence cohesion

Good use of examples such as the Oxford University study to support points.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph covers a distinct point, showing some organizational skills.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one’s experience, as also present the danger of letting influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

In some countries, there has been increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh this disadvantages?

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems, people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?