IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make a difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Debates about whether the small effort of
people
Use synonyms
 in regard to protecting the environment matters
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 raised a lot of arguments. Some say that individuals
bare
Verb problem
bear
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important
Correct article usage
an important
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 impact
while
Linking Words
 others think
people
Use synonyms
 cannot affect much compared to the government,
this
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the former point of view. In the first place, it may appear that the contributions of normal citizens might not be significant to the
overall
Linking Words
 outcome as the effort does minimal changes.
However
Linking Words
, the actions and knowledge of one individual can spread to many more
people
Use synonyms
 in the same area and will continue to uniform more from other places. And because of
this
Linking Words
 influence, over time,
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
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 friendly habits would be widely applied by a big enough force that can ensure an important impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the earth.
This
Linking Words
 has happened across many countries
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
especially Germany, where the recycling culture is considered seriously compared to anywhere else in the world. To the latter point of view, critics
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that even though the actions of residents can be used among cities, it is the regulations that actually take immense effect because industrial factories obey government rules only.
This
Linking Words
 is a valid point, but they have not thought about the right of citizens to report about activities of
such
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 companies if they are affecting the local greatness. With enough evidence and agreement among communities, about 100 signatures would be enough to make the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 certain problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, it ensures the influence of residents on the larger opponents
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are big corporations. In the writer's own opinion, the action of individuals is a crucial part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 protecting the environment. Damage done to the environment is mostly
due to
Linking Words
 mass habits among
people
Use synonyms
,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 the solution to problems.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the specific aspects that require unionization between
people
Use synonyms
, like reducing private vehicle usage or using environmentally friendly materials. Taking all points into consideration,
people
Use synonyms
 are positive about the influence of individuals on society
whereas
Linking Words
 some say that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
little
Correct word choice
small
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 contribution cannot sway bigger stands like factories.
This
Linking Words
 writer, despite the arguments, thinks
people
Use synonyms
 can make a big difference to the state of Earth.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a response to the task and addresses both views. However, you should aim to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and consistently link it back throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph has a single clear idea and flows logically from one to the next. Avoid jumping between points within a single paragraph without a smooth transition.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points and provide a sense of closure to the essay. Your introduction is clear, but the conclusion could more strongly affirm your opinion.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, use linking words and phrases more effectively to help the essay flow smoothly. For instance, connect your arguments with phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' and 'As a result.'
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, such as the mention of Germany's recycling culture, which strengthens your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly address both perspectives on the issue, which shows a balanced approach to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-friendly
  • collective impact
  • grassroots movements
  • systemic changes
  • sustainable products
  • environmental degradation
  • coordinated actions
  • policy changes
  • environmental-friendly policies
  • advocacy efforts
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