It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Due to
the advancement in medicine, life expectancy has considerably increased in many parts of the world. It is predicted that the number of old
people
will rise in the near future. It is admitted that older
people
can bring benefits to the public.
However
, it may be an unfavourable change
overall
. There are a number of positive effects associated with elderly
people
in societies. Seniors always pass on their knowledge, wisdom and expertise to the next generation. They possess a wealth of experience, which may be valuable for guiding young
people
. Apart from that, in many countries, old
people
play a crucial role in providing support to their families. They,
for example
, can look after children which allows parents to concentrate on other responsibilities.
Nevertheless
, the increasing number of older
people
can bring about several problems.
Firstly
, they are likely a major financial burden on the government budget. Most of them are unable to meet their needs.
For
this
reason,the government should provide them financially in the form of pensions. Another issue is that as most of them require medical care services, governments have to allocate essential drugs
as well as
build resorts without charge so as to maintain their health. As an example of
this
view, there are some special recreational places in every region of our country
such
as Aktash, Zamin and so on. In
such
kinds of zones, the elderly are provided with distinctive medical care by geriatricians and involved in relaxation activities like yoga or meditation. In conclusion,
whereas
older generations have a superior role in society, they tend to demand excessive attention from both authorities and their offspring.
That is
why, the drastic growth of them can cause several inconveniences and negative consequences in the long run.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to restate your opinion clearly in the conclusion to reinforce your argument. This makes your position unmistakable to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider varying your transitional phrases more. While your essay flows well, utilizing a wider range of transitions can showcase your linguistic range and make the progression of ideas more dynamic.
Task Achievement
For an even stronger essay, aim to deepen your analysis of the examples provided. Instead of simply listing examples, delve into how and why these examples support your main points. This will enrich your argument and demonstrate critical thinking skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!