IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Fast food is becoming a part of life everywhere, negatively affecting ourlife styles and diets. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

#food #part #life #ourlife #styles #diets
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In recent years, junk
food
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
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tranformating
Correct your spelling
transformed
a
Change preposition
into a
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major common
food
Use synonyms
 in entire the world, but it
take
Verb problem
has affected
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 our diets and
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
Correct word choice
and lead
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lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to more negative. The opinion of
this
Linking Words
 writer
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 fast
food
Use synonyms
 is not good for people life
styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
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 and diets. It is vital to understand that fast
food
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have contained
Wrong verb form
contains
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 lots of salt, sugar and oil, it is not good if
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 consume it too much. When the high salt intake our body is taken high
bloodpressura
Correct your spelling
blood pressure
 and if
this
Linking Words
 condition
continue
Change the verb form
continues
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, it will be dangerous. Moving onto sugar and oil, people will get diabetes if they eat
much
Rephrase
too much
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of
Change preposition
apply
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takeaway
food
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.
However
Linking Words
, some suggest that everywhere
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 can
easy to
Replace the word
easily
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 find fast
food
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 and they do not need to cook that so
convenient
Change the word
conveniently
show examples
 for their meal. It is visible that some
of
Change preposition
apply
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families make a small event at fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 a chance for someone who
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 a
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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 job.
This
Linking Words
 point may be true but each of health’s individual is more important than everything. In conclusion, it can be seen that if
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 consume
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 too much will not give any advantages. Fast
food
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 will take people closer
with
Change preposition
to
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 disease so
avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
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 junk
food
Use synonyms
affecting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
positively for our
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
 and diets.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it. While you have expressed a viewpoint, it appears fragmented.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully with specific examples. This could enhance the relevance and comprehensive nature of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your argument. Ensure every paragraph has a clear main idea and connects smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Avoid abrupt changes between points. Use transitional phrases to help the reader follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Check your grammar, spelling, and punctuation to avoid errors. For example, 'tranformating' should be 'transforming,' and 'bloodpressura' should be 'blood pressure.'
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide both sides of the argument, which shows a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the main argument against fast food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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