IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment, discuss both views and give your opinions

#people #individuals #difference #environment
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Whether citizens can protect
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 or not is a controversial topic.
Although
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is hopeless,
this
Linking Words
 writer contends that individuals are able to make
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
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due to
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inspiration
Use synonyms
 and the need
of having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
initiator
Correct article usage
an initiator
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. It is vital to understand that a person can create
inspiration
Use synonyms
 for others.
In other words
Linking Words
, it encourages residents to take action and offer a hand immediately. What is more,
this
Linking Words
 is good for younger generations,
such
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 as children and teenagers to admire and follow, which is necessary for their future growth and development.
As a result
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, from only a single person, a community or an organization
is hold
Change the verb form
is held
is holding
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, to call for help and conserve endangered species.
Thus
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,
inspiration
Use synonyms
 provides individuals
courageous
Correct word choice
with the courage
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 to stand up and participate.
However
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, some opponents are afraid of
difficulties
Correct article usage
the difficulties
show examples
 that they might face.
This
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 is because lots of
people
Use synonyms
 worry about being ashamed and laughed at if their plan does not work. Though
this
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 statement has its own logic,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 challenges may be just a temporary obstacle that
people
Use synonyms
 have to deal with. Environment is in danger, and humans cannot only expect and wait for governments to implement strategies to overcome
this
Linking Words
 situation. Because of that, it is necessary to have an inhabitant to start the event. From
personal
Add an article
a personal
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 perspective, it needs to be considered that an initiator is crucial.
Due to
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 the scare of judgement and initial loneliness, many inhabitants are not ready to take part
in
Change preposition
apply
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but choose to stay quiet even in the worst conditions.
Consequently
Linking Words
, if nobody raises
population’s
Correct article usage
the population’s
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 awareness and comes up with a campaign,
then
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 nothing will happen.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to have a person to be a model for
people
Use synonyms
 to follow. In brief, citizens can protect
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 thanks to
inspiration
Use synonyms
 and having an initiator.
Hence
Linking Words
, residents should be courageous to pursue their targets to help the world become better
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task achievement
Consider elaborating your main points with more specific examples. This can help to make your argument more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence between your sentences and paragraphs. Although they are logically structured, smoother transitions will enhance the flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and provide a clear understanding of your stance.
task achievement
You have addressed both views of the topic, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-friendly
  • collective impact
  • grassroots movements
  • systemic changes
  • sustainable products
  • environmental degradation
  • coordinated actions
  • policy changes
  • environmental-friendly policies
  • advocacy efforts
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