Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the arts(eg. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #focus #services #arts #eg #music

Authority ought to concentrate their investing in community facilities

instead

of the arts

such

as music and painting. I think it is better to spend money on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public amenities because of

reduction

Correct article usage

the reduction

show examples

of pollution and support people in urban areas. First of all, the government can improve transportation for poor families to go to work. They do not have to pay for

cost

Add an article

the cost

show examples

of private vehicles and other fees.

Moreover

, it

also

contributes to

bring

Change the verb form

bringing

show examples

passengers to various locations in a city effectively and fast.

Furthermore

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

may utilize them in order to travel around local sites conveniently.

Especially

Rephrase

In particular

show examples

, it reduces the air pollution

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

caused by industrial factories, smoking or waste of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

vehicles.

As a consequence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public services help humans protect

the

Change the word

their

show examples

habitats and attract more visitors.

This

is the fact in Singapore, there are many electric trains

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

used for the movement of the citizens. In terms of another point, community facilities may improve resident’s health. They can utilize fitness

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

installing

Wrong verb form

installed

show examples

in the park or nearby

apartment

Fix the agreement mistake

apartments

show examples

Besides

that, volunteer inhabitants often plant more trees along the pavements

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that

Correct word choice

which

show examples

decline carbon dioxide.

Therefore

, many occupants usually go jogging in the park to

breath

Replace the word

breathe

show examples

a fresh atmosphere and enhance physicality.

As a result

, social amenities assist dwellers in different healthy activities.

This

is the truth in Vietnam, the citizens often take part in public events to preserve

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

. In conclusion, community facilities may create many benefits for residents and countries.

Thus

, I totally agree with the former statement.

Tue Jun 04 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, try to elaborate more on the ideas presented. For instance, include more detailed explanations and connections between topics.

coherence cohesion

Enhancing coherence and cohesion can be achieved by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, making your stance clear.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public services
healthcare
education
infrastructure
quality of life
economic productivity
social equity
essential resources
long-term benefits
public health
educational attainment
public transportation
creativity
cultural preservation
social cohesion
indirect economic benefits
tourism industry
cultural heritage
balanced approach
well-rounded society

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Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the arts(eg. music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past, museums stored information about culture and history. However nowadays, this information can be found through internet, therefore is no need for museum. What do you extent agree/disagree?

In many countries, the quality of life in the large cities is worsening. What possibly can cause this problem? What measures can be taken to resolve it?

Some people think that getting old is a negative thing, whereas others think it is much easier for people to live in modern society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.