Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

since time immemorial, occupation and leisure have become an indispensable part of humans' lives.

although

some prefer to choose unemployment, I believe that a career is of great importance in individuals' lives for some reasons that are going to be argued in

this

essay. To commence with, professional pursuits can provide one with a structure and plenty of goals conducive to a meaningful life.

For instance

, teenagers select to pursue their education in certain fields and try to move in parallel with their goals.

Thus

, not only can

careers

channel individuals' personal lives but

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

also

instil motivation in them leading to psychological virtues

such

as self-contentment. Another justification can be the financial vexations that can associated with unemployment. To illustrate, in the present climate, it is of great importance to have a well-paid job to afford the high expenditures of life

otherwise

one would be deprived of even basic facilities

such

as a healthcare service or proper education.

Therefore

, professions are of great significance for more welfare.

On the other hand

, some argue that those who have no

careers

can dedicate their time to hobbies that suit their passion. It is,

also

, opined that these groups can experience less stress and pressure linked to

careers

leading to maintaining good physical and mental health. I,

however

, find myself in disagreement with them as the majority of individuals need money to be met and

this

will not be achieved unless, with an income source, jobs are the main source in most of the cases.

In addition

, vocational

careers

are capable of enhancing physical well-being, as well. In conclusion, it seems rational to accept that not only are appropriate professional pursuits infallible precursors to more welfare but

also

they can be incentives.

Submitted by samirakasraee72 on Thu Aug 22 2024

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task response

Your essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant ideas, but make sure to clearly align your arguments with the topic. The introduction should state the topic more clearly, and the essay should directly refer to advertising.

coherence and cohesion

Strive to maintain a clear and logical structure. The essay has a decent flow, but some transitions between points can be smoother and more aligned with the topic of advertising. This will make your argument more coherent and easy to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.

task response

You have provided some interesting points and examples that loosely align with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

informative
engages
creative
art form
consumerism
materialism
misleading
exaggerating
vulnerable
unrealistic
body image expectations
competitive
economical
targeted ads
personalized ads
intrusive

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Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone’ life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?/

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Blood sports have become a hot Topic for debate in recent years. As Society develops, it is increasingly seen as an uncivilised activity and cruel to the animals that are killed. All sports animals should be banned discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people want the government to spend more money for looking life on other planets; however, others think that it is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth that the government should be solving. Discuss both views and give your opinion.