IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#exploration #money
Nowadays, many people spend
money
 on
space
 exploration rather than spend on important things. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
 idea and think that it is one of
important
Correct article usage
the important
show examples
 parts
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our life.
Firstly
, at the moment people use exhausted natural
energy
 so it is necessary for
astronaut
Fix the agreement mistake
astronauts
show examples
 to fly outer
space
 to find and explore other
energy
 that changes exhausted natural
energy
.
For example
, petroleum is very necessary for transportation to operate but
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is nearly exhausted now that people need to find
this
 in the universe to carry on service for transportation.
In contrast
, spending
money
 on
space
 exploration too much that astronaut’s
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 can jeopardy with weigh-less.
In addition
,
energy
 is
awatse
Correct your spelling
a waste
 of
money
 since it
products
Replace the word
produces
show examples
 no benefits for humans.
Moreover
, we need to repair
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 shuttle and it
put
Verb problem
costs
show examples
money
 too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
.
To sum up
, the
write
Replace the word
writer
show examples
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
 spend
money
space
Change preposition
on space
show examples
 exploration to develop for the Earth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position and maintain it throughout the essay. Specifying your points more clearly will strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your points more logically connected. Sometimes, the transitions between ideas can be clearer. Using cohesive devices or transition words will help.
task achievement
Your essay should address counterarguments more effectively and offer clear reasons and examples to back up your position.
task achievement
Improving your grammar and vocabulary usage will help to convey your ideas more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is clear and aids understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!