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Writing Samples
Band 4

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate the changes in Grange
Park
 on Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street between 1920 and today.
Overall
, Grange
Park
 has witnessed some significant changes in facilities for entertainment. It is
also
 noticeable that the modernization of the theatre has made the
park
 worth visiting. Looking closer at the maps, it can be seen that these days, two entrances on both streets have remained unchanged, between which has emerged the Rose Garden to replace the fountain in 1920. The repositioning of the number of seats has created more spaces for people to enjoy the full view of the garden. On the
right - hand
Correct your spelling
right-hand
show examples
 side of the
park
, the rose garden and pond for water plants in 1920 have been demolished to build
Cafe
Correct article usage
a Cafe
show examples
 and children's play area. The water feature has been erected to replace the glasshouse.
Additionally
, on the left-hand side of the
park
, the Amphi
theatre
Capitalize word
Theatre
show examples
 has been constructed to replace the stage for musicians, with the relocation of the number of seats surrounding it.
Submitted by hongmien.n on

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task achievement
Your response effectively addresses the key features of the map. However, using more specific details in your comparisons can enhance the task achievement further. For example, mention exact locations or additional changes not yet covered.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong and well organized. For improvement, provide a clearer conclusion summarizing the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
You've used comprehensive ideas to describe the changes in the park, but adding more transitional phrases would enhance the flow and make the essay smoother to read.
task achievement
You've managed to compare the changes accurately and concisely, which is important for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, which makes it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Amphitheater
  • Landscaping
  • Recreational facilities
  • Grassy areas
  • Flowerbeds
  • Pathways
  • Seating areas
  • Modern amenities
  • Children’s play area
  • Accessibility
  • Environmental impact
  • Social impact
What to do next:
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