Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to? What are some possible solutions ?
There are a lot of young people taking
care
of their older generations who lack time
for self-care
. This
author believes that if this
circumstance continues in the next few months, it will negatively affect the youth in time
management and mental health.
On the one hand, it is vital to acknowledge that most of the elderly care
people are losing their work
-life balance. In the state-of-the-art, although
there are lots of inventions that help care
for old residents, young guys still have to spend a large amount of time
of a day on it. Thereby, the challenge of balancing lifetime and working time
is increasingly difficult. That leads to a lack of commitments and necessary activities such
as relaxing and exercising.
On the other hand
, in terms of the psycho, spending hours looking after others instead
of ourselves is extremely harmful. At the moment, we will not only focus on self-work
but also
keep track of the elderly instead
of just concentrating on self-work
merely, which is enough stressful for an individual. Therefore
, despite our worsened stress, we will t have time
to chill out and reduce stress damaging our brain seriously.
Nevertheless
, these problems are not for valuable for us to worry about since we have two solutions that seem to be the best treatment to deal with these situations. These are flexible working arrangements and family responsibility sharing. Considering scientific studies and consequence surveys, it can be seen that managing our work
to fit in with our life to maintain balance is far
more effective treatment for them as we can Add an article
a far
work
at home to work
and older care
at the same time
. However
, it is just suitable for some special jobs such
as programming and freelancing. Therefore
, sharing our responsibility with other members of my family is almost the utmost effective way to cope with it.
To conclude
, there are some drawbacks leading to uncontrollable time
management and mental harm caused by young generations spending their time
caring for older ones instead
of themselves. Yet, they can be treated by work
management and also
responsibility sharing, which are the most effective treatments.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt, but there are areas that need more clarity and development. Ensure that your points are more explicitly connected to the problems and solutions you identify.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an overall structure, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Make sure that each section of your essay clearly aligns with one another by using better transitions and topic sentences.
task achievement
Some points in your essay are a bit vague and lack specific examples. More detailed illustrations of your points would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and vary your sentence structure to make your essay more engaging to read.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay successfully introduces and concludes with a clear topic reference. This helps the reader understand the overall purpose of your writing.
supported main points
You made good use of both paragraphs to discuss different aspects of a single issue, which provides some depth to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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