Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to? What are some possible solutions ?

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There are a lot of young people taking
care
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of their older generations who lack
time
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for self-
care
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.
This
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author believes that if
this
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circumstance continues in the next few months, it will negatively affect the youth in
time
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management and mental health. On the one hand, it is vital to acknowledge that most of the elderly
care
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people are losing their
work
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-life balance. In the state-of-the-art,
although
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there are lots of inventions that help
care
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for old residents, young guys still have to spend a large amount of
time
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of a day on it. Thereby, the challenge of balancing lifetime and working
time
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is increasingly difficult. That leads to a lack of commitments and necessary activities
such
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as relaxing and exercising.
On the other hand
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, in terms of the psycho, spending hours looking after others
instead
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of ourselves is extremely harmful. At the moment, we will not only focus on self-
work
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but
also
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keep track of the elderly
instead
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of just concentrating on self-
work
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merely, which is enough stressful for an individual.
Therefore
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, despite our worsened stress, we will t have
time
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to chill out and reduce stress damaging our brain seriously.
Nevertheless
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, these problems are not for valuable for us to worry about since we have two solutions that seem to be the best treatment to deal with these situations. These are flexible working arrangements and family responsibility sharing. Considering scientific studies and consequence surveys, it can be seen that managing our
work
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to fit in with our life to maintain balance is
far
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a far
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more effective treatment for them as we can
work
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at home to
work
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and older
care
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at the same
time
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.
However
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, it is just suitable for some special jobs
such
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as programming and freelancing.
Therefore
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, sharing our responsibility with other members of my family is almost the utmost effective way to cope with it.
To conclude
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, there are some drawbacks leading to uncontrollable
time
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management and mental harm caused by young generations spending their
time
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caring for older ones
instead
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of themselves. Yet, they can be treated by
work
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management and
also
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responsibility sharing, which are the most effective treatments.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt, but there are areas that need more clarity and development. Ensure that your points are more explicitly connected to the problems and solutions you identify.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an overall structure, the logical flow between paragraphs could be improved. Make sure that each section of your essay clearly aligns with one another by using better transitions and topic sentences.
task achievement
Some points in your essay are a bit vague and lack specific examples. More detailed illustrations of your points would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and vary your sentence structure to make your essay more engaging to read.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay successfully introduces and concludes with a clear topic reference. This helps the reader understand the overall purpose of your writing.
supported main points
You made good use of both paragraphs to discuss different aspects of a single issue, which provides some depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • neglect
  • emotional distress
  • social interaction
  • mental stimulation
  • financial costs
  • community care services
  • respite care
  • telehealth services
  • flexible work arrangements
  • caregiver leave policies
  • support networks
  • emotional support
  • monitoring systems
  • training programs
  • interpersonal strain
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