Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #tere #factors #money #appearance

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Nowadays, there is an opinion that

life

will succeed through determination and hard work.

While

some might that appearance and might that appearance and

money

are more important.

This

writer completely agrees with the first idea has more benefits. On the one hand, if

people

work with unwavering attitudes it creates an enormous problem in their lives which makes them not want to do anything. Working by themselves with create a person that can do any challenges in

life

. It can be seen that in Japan, a large number of adults use their parents’

money

to live which is referred to as “lazy humans”, or “the mistake of the environment”.

On the other hand

money

will be an important part of helping

people

have more communication with other

people

Moreover

, appearance can bridge the gap between

people

and

people

because it is an object that cannot be lost in our daily lives. Having

money

can control

life

more easily, not only our own

life

but

also

other

people

's lives. Most businessmen know exactly the dangers

money

can bring back on themselves, it can

also

open more job opportunities for students. In conclusion, both ideas have it good face but to be chosen,

this

writer will choose the hardworking and determination.

Tue Jun 04 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both views on the topic, but it could benefit from a more balanced and in-depth discussion. Consider adding more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will make your essay easier to follow.

supported main points

Ensure that all your points are well-supported with relevant examples and clear explanations. This helps in making your argument more convincing.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps set the context and summarize your main points effectively.

task achievement

You attempted to address both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

210 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multifaceted
determination
humble beginnings
long-term goals
influential networks
public image
societal standards
amplify opportunities
foundational
crucial
exemplifying

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Some people believe is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe government should spend money in saving languages of few speaker from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources. Discuss both views and give opinion.