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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childen themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #childen #home #school #education
There is no doubt that homeschooling is becoming dramatically popular in most nations around the world. It is the writer who
behaves
Verb problem
believes
show examples
 that the benefits of
inseparable
Correct article usage
an inseparable
show examples
 connection between
parents
 and their
children
 and the development of independence far outweigh the drawbacks of preventing their improvement in debate
skills
. One of the main beneficial aspects of learning at
home
 with
parents
 is
inseparable
Add an article
an inseparable
show examples
 link between them. In light of
this
, the
parents
 spend more
time
 teaching and sharing some new lessons for their
teenagers
.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 they
also
 use all their free
time
 to sit down together and discuss their lessons. By the way, the youth can inspire their thinking and show their creativities in all fields with their
parents
 in any way. Take Japan as a particularly popular example of
this
 statement, when
children
 are at available ages for enrolling the school, their
parents
 still want to keep them at
home
 to take care of them every
time
 and teach them good behaviours as their culture. All of them believe that
this
 way can bridge the gap with any generation in their family and their
teenagers
 are not so
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
shy with their
parents
 throughout their inspirations and sharing in their lives.
Consequently
, people especially good
parents
 will find the solutions to solve their
children
's problems. Another significant advantage of choosing to educate is improving their independence in all
areas
. It is crucial to acknowledge that independence is one of the necessary characteristics of everyone's
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. So, homeschooling can help their youth to practise and get good independent
skills
.
As a result
, they will not rely so much on one another and they improve significantly their creativity in all fields. After, they complete their targets and deadlines at the exact
time
.
For instance
,
children
 who live in hard and difficult are do not have abundant conditions to join school so they have to learn at
home
 with their
parents
 and their sisters or brothers.
Thus
, they can develop the maximum independent skill and do their tasks by themselves day by day.
For
this
 reason, almost all
teenagers
 in difficult or poor
areas
 still gain enough knowledge and lessons as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students in urban
areas
. The main drawback associated with learning at
home
 relates to the improvement in debate
skills
 with each other. It can be seen that the
children
 only stay at
home
 all the
time
 with their family members which prevents their communication
skills
 with their friends or their teachers in lieu of their school.
Furthermore
, they lack many abilities to discuss and
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in a team.
For example
, some
children
 who live in rural
areas
 are so embarrassed when have face-to-face conversations, they do not have lots of relationships with their area, and they
also
 can not improve themselves by trading their styles or ideas in
anyway
Correct your spelling
any way
show examples
. As forementioned, choosing to learn at
home
 with
parents
 is the available method to have more connections between the
parents
 and their youth and improving their independent
skills
 is still superior to the declining debatement in all fields.
Hence
, homeschooling is far more beneficial for the
teenagers
.

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task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss in the essay. Ensure that your thesis statement succinctly conveys your stance.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by avoiding complex and convoluted sentences. Break down your points into more digestible parts to aid understanding.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Use real-world statistics or case studies to back up your claims.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
End each paragraph with a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument. This will help in reinforcing your points and improving the overall cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay consistently addresses the question, and you have offered a clear perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have managed to provide a structured response with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have included some specific examples, which enhance the credibility of your arguments. Keep building on this.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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