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Band 5

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childen themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #childen #home #school #education
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There is no doubt that homeschooling is becoming dramatically popular in most nations around the world. It is the writer who
behaves
Verb problem
believes
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 that the benefits of
inseparable
Correct article usage
an inseparable
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 connection between
parents
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 and their
children
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 and the development of independence far outweigh the drawbacks of preventing their improvement in debate
skills
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. One of the main beneficial aspects of learning at
home
Use synonyms
 with
parents
Use synonyms
 is
inseparable
Add an article
an inseparable
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 link between them. In light of
this
Linking Words
, the
parents
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 spend more
time
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 teaching and sharing some new lessons for their
teenagers
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.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 they
also
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 use all their free
time
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 to sit down together and discuss their lessons. By the way, the youth can inspire their thinking and show their creativities in all fields with their
parents
Use synonyms
 in any way. Take Japan as a particularly popular example of
this
Linking Words
 statement, when
children
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 are at available ages for enrolling the school, their
parents
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 still want to keep them at
home
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 to take care of them every
time
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 and teach them good behaviours as their culture. All of them believe that
this
Linking Words
 way can bridge the gap with any generation in their family and their
teenagers
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 are not so
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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shy with their
parents
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 throughout their inspirations and sharing in their lives.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people especially good
parents
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 will find the solutions to solve their
children
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's problems. Another significant advantage of choosing to educate is improving their independence in all
areas
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. It is crucial to acknowledge that independence is one of the necessary characteristics of everyone's
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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. So, homeschooling can help their youth to practise and get good independent
skills
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will not rely so much on one another and they improve significantly their creativity in all fields. After, they complete their targets and deadlines at the exact
time
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.
For instance
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,
children
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 who live in hard and difficult are do not have abundant conditions to join school so they have to learn at
home
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 with their
parents
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 and their sisters or brothers.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can develop the maximum independent skill and do their tasks by themselves day by day.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, almost all
teenagers
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 in difficult or poor
areas
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 still gain enough knowledge and lessons as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students in urban
areas
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. The main drawback associated with learning at
home
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 relates to the improvement in debate
skills
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 with each other. It can be seen that the
children
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 only stay at
home
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 all the
time
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 with their family members which prevents their communication
skills
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 with their friends or their teachers in lieu of their school.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they lack many abilities to discuss and
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 in a team.
For example
Linking Words
, some
children
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 who live in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 are so embarrassed when have face-to-face conversations, they do not have lots of relationships with their area, and they
also
Linking Words
 can not improve themselves by trading their styles or ideas in
anyway
Correct your spelling
any way
show examples
. As forementioned, choosing to learn at
home
Use synonyms
 with
parents
Use synonyms
 is the available method to have more connections between the
parents
Use synonyms
 and their youth and improving their independent
skills
Use synonyms
 is still superior to the declining debatement in all fields.
Hence
Linking Words
, homeschooling is far more beneficial for the
teenagers
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss in the essay. Ensure that your thesis statement succinctly conveys your stance.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by avoiding complex and convoluted sentences. Break down your points into more digestible parts to aid understanding.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Use real-world statistics or case studies to back up your claims.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
End each paragraph with a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument. This will help in reinforcing your points and improving the overall cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay consistently addresses the question, and you have offered a clear perspective on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have managed to provide a structured response with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have included some specific examples, which enhance the credibility of your arguments. Keep building on this.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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