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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below give information about different types of waste disposed of one country in 1960 and 2011.

The charts below give information about different types of waste disposed of one country in 1960 and 2011.
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Presented in the given pies is information regarding the percentage of rubbish disposal in a nation between 1960 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 upward trend in the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of disposed
waste
Use synonyms
 in
categories
Correct article usage
the categories
show examples
 of food, wood, plastic and metal, as opposed to the other categories. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
, more paper
waste
Use synonyms
 was disposed
in
Change preposition
of in
show examples
 the 1960s, but that later shifted to food
waste
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. In 1960,
paper
Add an article
the paper
a paper
show examples
 was the most common type of
waste
Use synonyms
 in the surveyed country, accounting for a quarter of the total
proportion
Use synonyms
, before drastically falling to 15% and getting dethroned by food
waste
Use synonyms
 in 2011, which
initially
Linking Words
 stood at 12% and later rose to the highest point at 21%. Regarding wood and plastic, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 in those categories began at 4% and 8%, after which the figures experienced a considerable increase to approximately double.
Similarly
Linking Words
, metal
waste
Use synonyms
 saw a marginal growth in its
proportion
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, from 8% to 9%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Turning to the remaining statistics, a percentage
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 17% was recorded for
textiles
Fix the agreement mistake
textile
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 in the beginning, prior to a minor decline
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 6% in 2011. The same pattern was
also
Linking Words
 true for other
waste
Use synonyms
, which started at 12% before plummeting to one-third of that percentage. Meanwhile, both rubbish relating to glass and green
waste
Use synonyms
 remained stable during the given timescale, with respective figures standing at 5% and 9%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, waste with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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