Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development

A good number of grown-ups prefer spending their spare time playing

computer

games

or video

games

nowadays.

This

essay will discuss how entertainment value is the primary contributor to

this

trend. Personally, I believe

this

is a positive

development

because it sharpens the cognitive

skills

of those

adults

Computer

games

are played mainly for entertainment and individuals can gain pleasant experience playing

computer

games

For instance

, the

games

offer players interactive and engaging storylines which

adults

will enjoy the most.

This

is why,

adults

are more likely to choose to play

computer

games

after

hectic

Add an article

a hectic

show examples

day to unwind

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Playing

games

helps individuals escape from daily stress and shift their focus onto the challenging

taksts

Correct your spelling

tasks

with

Change preposition

show examples

the virtual world for a short

while

. Playing

computer

games

reaps benefits to

adults

by enhancing cognitive

skills

and

that is

why

this

to be

Change the verb form

show examples

a positive

development

. Many

games

, especially those in the simulation and strategy genres, present gamers with an epic of challenges that require critical reasoning, problem-solving and

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

show examples

competencies to devise

best laid

Add a hyphen

best-laid

show examples

plans in order to overcome them. The

skills

gained

while

playing these types of

games

can

also

be applied in

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

problem-solving situations.

For instance

'cooking'

Correct article usage

the 'cooking'

show examples

game offers players a series of challenges that require cognitive

skills

to examine situations, determine obstacles and design effective strategies to overcome them. In

conculsion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

adults

today tend to play digital

games

because these

games

are the modern form of entertainment to relieve the pressures of life, and I think

this

is a positive

development

as it fosters cognitive

development

Submitted by sejal.h on Tue Jun 04 2024

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task response

You have clearly addressed both parts of the prompt, explaining why adults play computer games and why it is a positive development. To achieve a higher score, consider exploring counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.

coherence and cohesion

The essay flows well, and ideas are logically connected. Enhancing the use of linking words and phrases could improve the cohesion even further.

coherence and cohesion

Your main points are supported by examples, which is good. However, ensuring that each example is tied more explicitly to the main argument might strengthen your essay.

coherence and cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, making your essay easy to follow.

task response

The reasons for adults playing computer games and the positive impacts are well-explained and relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools and that, videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

Many people are doing their shopping on the Internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?