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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

THE GRAPH BELOW GIVES INFORMATION ABOUT U.S GOVERNMENT SPENDING ON RESEARCH BETWEEN 1980 AND 2008

THE GRAPH BELOW GIVES INFORMATION ABOUT U.S GOVERNMENT SPENDING ON RESEARCH BETWEEN 1980 AND 2008
#information #government #research
The line graph delineates how much
money
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 government
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on research over the period of 28
years
, beginning in 1980 Looking from an
overall
 perspective,
it is clear that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spend on 4 different main sectors health, space, energy, general science and
other sector
Change the wording
another sector
other sectors
show examples
. As the amount of
expenditure
 on health was the highest, general
science’s
Change noun form
science
show examples
 spending was the lowest. There was a sharp rise in the amount of
money
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on health from 1980 to 2004 ( around
billion
 became
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
22
billion
)
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 approximately 3,5 times, before hitting a free fall to 18
billion
 between
last
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
2004 and 2008. The
money
 which
spend
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
 on general science,
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 like
stat
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 constant in the first 4
years
, and
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
slow
Rephrase
to slowly
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 4
years
 (from about 2
billion
 to 3
billion
). From 2000 to 2008 the
expenditure
 remained steady
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5
billion
.
While
 the section of
money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on space and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 slightly between 1980 and 1984 with 7,5
billion
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 5
billion
 and 6
billion
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 5
billion
,
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
, energy
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 stable
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the same period of time. After 8
years
, the amount of
expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 space and other growth gradually
over
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1992 to 2000 ( from about 5,8
billion
 to 7,8
billion
),
expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
also
 went up moderately from 1992 to 1996 (5
billion
 became 8
billion
) but it decreased considerably between
last
 1996 to 2000 (8
billion
 to 5
billion
)
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, years, expenditure, billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • funding levels
  • government expenditure
  • trend analysis
  • budget allocation
  • inflation-adjusted dollars
  • historic highs/lows
  • research grants
  • public investment
  • financial resources
  • sector-specific spending
  • economic downturn
  • national priorities
  • scientific advancement
  • fiscal policy
  • economic stimulus
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