Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

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The question of whether higher education institutions should provide an adept experiences for
students
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'
future
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employment or not, as the responsibility they carry is the provision of academic
knowledge
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, has been a matter of contention.
While
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I acknowledge that it is
students
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' duties to learn the provided
knowledge
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for themselves, the
addition
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of extra support for them by educational institutions to get employed in
future
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can have an advantageous impact on the
future
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of humanity. Beginning with the former argument, I believe that
further
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support for
students
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brings beneficial results. The
addition
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of extra courses oriented towards practical experiences provides them with adequate lifelong skills, providing them with an expected
future
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in their career.
For instance
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, since Germany brought a shift in its universities that
students
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will
also
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be taught for a physical job, rather than rudimentary lectures, the number of highly skilled postgraduates has increased rapidly.
Therefore
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,
this
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topic should be disseminated across the world and implemented in most universities. Regarding the counterattacking argument, universities should increase their focus towards teaching
students
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for
knowledge
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rather than preparing them for practical training.
This
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type of approach provides
students
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with crucial
knowledge
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, mostly preparing them for jobs that do not require much physical force, but rather
knowledge
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. A clear example of these jobs can be scientists - most of the research and work done using strong brains rather than physical force, which benefits from
further
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information about the world, creating new rules in the field of STEM.
Thus
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, I believe that
this
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approach is not more important than the
addition
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of practical experience. In summary, specialising
students
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for intellectual capacity and the
addition
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of practical lessons in institutions still need to be developed
further
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.
Consequently
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, I still stand strong on the latter argument, firmly arguing in favour of the introduction of skills which are a positive enhancement for the
future
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careers of
students
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.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Now your view is there, but it is a little hard to follow in some parts.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need deeper support.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and direct. The Germany example is useful, but it needs better detail.
task response
Make your position the same from start to end. In some lines, your opinion seems to change.
coherence and cohesion
Organize each body paragraph with one main idea, then explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some phrases sound unnatural and make the meaning less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection inside paragraphs. Some sentences do not flow smoothly to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Keep topic words clear. Words like former and latter are used in a confusing way here.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph structure.
task response
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifelong learning
  • Holistic development
  • Vocational training
  • Industry-specific competencies
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative problem-solving
  • Academic research
  • Intellectual development
  • Ethics and values
  • Societal contribution
  • Job market demands
  • Practical training
  • Internships
  • Knowledge advancement
  • Global challenges
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