In some countries the elderly are highly valued and respected, while in others youth is more highly valued. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Recently, lots of nations believe that older
have
more valuable Verb problem
people are
while
others think it is the younger ones. The writer of this
essay is going to discuss two sides and give his own experience
.
On the one hand, elders were prized due to
the benefit that bring from their own experience
. First of all, the knowledge they learn daily can make their work
easier to complete without spending too much time. For example
, making a badminton shuttlecock is a difficult task that is
because people
who want to create a nice one and sell it at high prices must be very persistent and meticulous. But, it is quite a simple job for a person who has the experience
of making them. Secondly
, people
who at old age can readily tackle the problems surrounding them. By reason of the awareness
they have collected on their life journey.
Add a comma
awareness,
On the other hand
, many people
think that the youth crowd were esteemed. This
is because they can work
with plenty of imagination, they always bring out a lot of ideas in their genius brain especially it is useful ones. Their opinions also
matter in the digital age. For example
, due to
the development of AI, today people
can easily do unimaginable things but require a code that is
very difficult to run and only young people
can do these things. Additionally
, they are even more flexible on many jobs which means that they can do a lot of tasks in a short time. Take Elon Musk for an example, he can work
at his office from day to night with no break time and he works as a coder and physicist, his ideas also
change the world because he can bring our people
into universes. Teaching for the youth is the main reason why I stand for the elders. They can teach the younger people
about the issues they have met in their life
and instruct them how to avoid them. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Moreover
, The words of elders have high value in the community and that is
why they are highly appreciated. For instance
, in the election contest only the people
who at the old age decide who will be elected because they know who is a worthy person by their own experience
.
In conclusion, there are several reasons why older and younger people
are highly appreciated but for the sake of older people
in work
and society, they deserve to be appreciated more.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task response
The essay provides a discussion on both sides of the topic, but it lacks a clear thesis statement in the introduction. Ensure your thesis introduces the main points that will be discussed.
task response
Some ideas and sentences are unclear and could be expressed more clearly with careful proofreading. Aim to articulate ideas in a more straightforward and precise manner.
coherence and cohesion
The logic of the essay can be improved by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences contribute to that main idea. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically to the next.
coherence and cohesion
The use of cohesive devices can be improved. While some linking words are used, they often feel repetitive or overly simple. Try to vary them and use them more effectively to improve the flow of ideas.
task response
The essay addresses all parts of the task by discussing both perspectives and providing a personal opinion.
task response
Good examples are provided to illustrate points, such as the mention of making a badminton shuttlecock and citing Elon Musk's work ethic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the writer's stance.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?