IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying a product (such as cell phones) or a service (medical treatment). Do yo agree or disagree?

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People have numerous aspects that need to be considered before deciding their choices, including money. They perceive it as the most crucial thing when purchasing items or services. In my opinion, I believe there are more important things that have to be ensured,
such
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 as quality and stability, which can affect customer satisfaction. a cheaper price would offer the same qualities of the products because expensive items do not entirely guarantee excellent qualities. Choosing the affordable one would be an alternative option as it can
also
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 positively contribute to the consumer's financial conditions so that they would be satisfied in using the products without having a problem financially since it will save them from becoming a wasteful individual.
For instance
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, different brands of cell phones usually provide varied prices,
whereas
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 a pricey phone can function
similarly
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 to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 inexpensive one.
Moreover
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, prioritizing the consistency of the products would be necessary rather than the quantity.
This
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 will facilitate the customers with stability so that they can fulfil their pleasures. To illustrate, a hospital that provides good service consistently by having responsive administrators and polite
as well as
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 caring nurses for their patients would make the patients fully delightful and encourage them to give positive reviews, compared to one that treats its patients awfully.
Thus
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, the better services they have, the more stable situations they will get. To summarize, price could be essential to be put into consideration.
Nevertheless
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, people should focus more on other things,
such
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 as quality regardless of the cost they should pay, which will undoubtedly play a significant role in their financial conditions.
Additionally
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, in terms of service, the stability would greatly impact the customer's
pleasures
Fix the agreement mistake
pleasure
show examples
 rather than the price.

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language
Ensure consistent use of punctuation to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Consider strengthening your introduction with a clearer thesis statement.
task achievement
Try to diversify your examples to cover both products and services more equally.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view on the importance of factors other than price, such as quality and stability.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are mostly well-organized, with clear paragraphing and transitions.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the main stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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