Some people feel that it is necessary to test new medicines on animals, while other people feel that this is not fair on animals and not necessary. Discuss both views ad give your opinion.
Medicines
testing on animals
is necessary or not has become a popular controversial topic in recent years
. Some people
think it is necessary to give it a try on animals
before using it on humans
, whereas
people
don't take it for grant
and believe Wrong verb form
granted
animals
should have the same right
as Fix the agreement mistake
rights
humans
.In my opinion, I agree to
testing the Change preposition
with
medicines
on other alive animals
before testing on the human body.
Modern medicine has only shown up in the last
100 years
,which needs plenty of evidences
to support the Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
medicines
work efficiently and accurately.In the past years
,doctors have done medical research on dead bodies or normal humans
. However
,it is cold and crucial for testing medical reactions in males and females.In order to prevent us not bing
suffer from unknown medical reactions, we restrict Correct your spelling
being
do
Wrong verb form
doing
test
on Fix the agreement mistake
tests
human
anymore.
In comparison, the human body, Fix the agreement mistake
humans
animal
life cycle changes faster than Correct word choice
and animal
humans
. Raising mice from newborn babies to immature bodies only takes a few months;however
,a newborn human bay
Correct your spelling
baby
become
an adult takes 18 Wrong verb form
becomes
years
.It is inefficient to do research on people
because immature
body is the best resource for testing medicine.If we take Correct article usage
an immature
medicines
tests on Fix the agreement mistake
medicine
humans
are not occupy for economically sufficient, taking tasks on animals
will be much more sufficient.
To sum up
,in today's technology I will agree to do the test on animals
before testing on me or other people
.Medicines
testing is a selfish activity indeed which just makes sure people
can live longer than other species but we need it.Submitted by diana1992lin on
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task achievement
The essay critically addresses both views on the necessity of animal testing, which is good for covering the topic. However, the central thesis is not very clear and should be more explicitly stated. Clarifying your stance will contribute to a better task response overall.
task achievement
There are issues with sentence structure and grammar that hinder clarity. For example, sentences like 'Medicines testing on animals is necessary or not has become a popular controversial topic' can be revised for better readability. Work on simplifying complex ideas into clearer sentences.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to strengthen the argument. Providing concrete examples, such as specific medical breakthroughs achieved through animal testing, would add depth and relevance to your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay can be improved. Use coherent linking words and phrases to ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. For instance, phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Moreover' can help in joining related ideas.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has an introduction and a conclusion, the introduction can be more engaging and the conclusion more conclusive. The conclusion could better tie back to the main points discussed, summarizing them clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is well-supported. This can be achieved by dedicating each paragraph to a single idea and elaborating with details, evidence, or examples. This will make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both sides of the debate, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the context and the conclusion attempts to wrap up the argument, which shows good structural planning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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