You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Music play an important role in society, others think it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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In recent years, there has been an unprecedented surge in public musical interest, sparking extensive discussions regarding its implications for humankind. Some advocate that

music

has a crucial impact on human societies,

while

others contend that embracing

music

for the majority of citizens solely means entertainment. From my perspective,

although

music

brings several potential merits

such

as pleasure and recreation, other advantageous aspects should not be underestimated.

To begin

with, one compelling argument in favour of listening to

music

merely for entertainment is that it is conducive to releasing individual pressure and resonating with musical content. Nowadays,

music

is universally acknowledged as a powerful tool to shatter despair and frustration. Engaging in melody provides people with tranquil and comfortable experiences to reduce the pressure accumulated in arduous professional tasks and boring daily lives, thereby mitigating negative mental influences and obtaining extra pleasure and happiness.

For example

, when individuals struggle to complete what they are going through, specific genres of

music

such

as blues or pop

music

, to a great extent, contribute to alleviating their mental suffering and decreasing relevant stress.

Furthermore

, for those with empathetic ability, the involvement of melody in their lives facilitates a broader resonation between individuals and what

music

wants to express.

Nevertheless

, the effects of

music

transcend far beyond recreation, and people should pay attention to other benefits it brings.

First,

as one of the most significant art patterns,

music

results in unity and cooperation among disparate communities. It contributes to social and historical exchanges, allowing individuals to explore and appreciate literature, customs, and cultural and historical heritage.

For instance

, by listening to native songs and comprehending the nuances of lyrics expressions, citizens can gain deeper insights into the history, fundamental values, and worldviews of some communities.

In addition

this

can

also

enrich individual cultural understanding, which establishes a robust foundation to more readily integrate into the interconnected and globalized world. In conclusion, despite recognizing the profound significance of

music

in entertaining people, I once again reaffirm my viewpoint that its role surpasses the single pleasure characteristic. Listening to

music

facilitates frequent and meaningful cultural and historical interactions, making communal integration a more straightforward process.

Submitted by nikolopup on Tue Jun 25 2024

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task achievement

Although you have provided excellent coverage of the topic by discussing both views and giving your own opinion, try to include more specific examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, mentioning a particular culture or a specific event where music played a role in uniting people.

coherence cohesion

To further ensure the essay flows smoothly, consider transitioning between paragraphs using slightly more diverse connectors. This can enhance readability and clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a strong logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments and understand your perspective.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, clearly outlining and summarizing your points.

task achievement

Your response to the task is thorough, discussing both views and providing a well-rounded opinion.

task achievement

The ideas are expressed comprehensively, with clear reasoning supporting your statements.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

359 words

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