Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Some manufactured meal and
beverages
Change the noun form
beverage
products
included high Use synonyms
sugar
Use synonyms
contents
. Fix the agreement mistake
content
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
this
affected Linking Words
to
many health diseases. To prevent Change preposition
apply
this
, Linking Words
high
Add a hyphen
high-sugar
sugar
Use synonyms
products
should be regulated to have Use synonyms
high
Add an article
a high
price
, Fix the agreement mistake
prices
this
is Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
supporting
Verb problem
encourage
people
to consume Use synonyms
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
sugar
Use synonyms
products
. I strongly believe Use synonyms
with
these arguments because higher Change preposition
in
Use synonyms
products
prices will reduce the Change the noun form
product
consumers
and Use synonyms
to
warn the Fix the infinitive
apply
consumers
Use synonyms
itself
.
In general, pricey Correct pronoun usage
themselves
products
will reduce the desire of Use synonyms
consumers
to buy the Use synonyms
products
. Use synonyms
This
will Linking Words
also
happen to sugary Linking Words
products
, If the sugary Use synonyms
products
become pricey and cost a lot of money than low sugary Use synonyms
products
, Use synonyms
this
will decrease the Linking Words
Use synonyms
consumers
Correct quantifier usage
number of consumers
to buy
Change the verb form
buying
Linking Words
this kind
of things. Pricey things will make Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
consumers
think twice before they buy it. Use synonyms
Consumers
will Use synonyms
also
consider the cheaper items to buy because they do not want to expenses more for the Linking Words
the
pricey items. Remove the redundancy
apply
While
the Linking Words
consumers
consider the prices, the consumer can Use synonyms
also
consider Linking Words
that
health Correct determiner usage
the
effect
that appear from the pricey items that Fix the agreement mistake
effects
included
high Wrong verb form
include
sugar
Use synonyms
level
. Fix the agreement mistake
levels
In
my perspective as a consumer, Change preposition
From
i
rather choose the cheaper Change the capitalization
I
products
if knowing that the higher price Use synonyms
products
or the Use synonyms
high content
sugary Add a hyphen
high-content
products
will bring a lot of Use synonyms
disease
Use synonyms
for
me in the future.
Change preposition
to
However
, despite the rising prices, signs or labels about Linking Words
high
Add a hyphen
high-sugar
sugar
Use synonyms
products
should be clearly included in Use synonyms
the
Change to a genitive case
the product's packaging
the packaging of the product
products
packaging. The risk of developing health Use synonyms
disease
if consume the Use synonyms
products
excessively should Use synonyms
also
included in Linking Words
the
Change to a genitive case
the product's packaging
the packaging of the product
products
packaging. Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
example the Capitalize word
For
lifestyle related
Add a hyphen
lifestyle-related
Use synonyms
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as diabetes, obesity, and high blood pressure Linking Words
that
will happen because Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
increase Change preposition
of the
of
Change preposition
in
bloos
Correct your spelling
blood
sugar
levels. Use synonyms
These kind
of Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
disease
can not be underestimated because Use synonyms
this
slowly Linking Words
killed
Wrong verb form
kills
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
.
Use synonyms
This
purpose Linking Words
are
to Change the verb form
is
informing
and warn the Wrong verb form
inform
consumers
about the Use synonyms
danger
and Fix the agreement mistake
dangers
the
Correct article usage
apply
risk
. Specifically to encourage Fix the agreement mistake
risks
people
to choose Use synonyms
products
wisely.
In conclusion, the meal and beverages Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
from
manufactured that Change preposition
apply
included
Wrong verb form
include
high level
sugars trigger some diseases. Add a hyphen
high-level
For
Linking Words
this
reason, Linking Words
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
kind
kined
of Correct your spelling
kind
Use synonyms
products
should become expensive in order to reduce the Fix the agreement mistake
product
consumers
from buying it and encourage Use synonyms
people
to consume less Use synonyms
sugar
Use synonyms
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task response
Try to develop your paragraphs more fully. For example, include more specific examples and elaborate on your points to ensure they are clearly understood.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion to make sure they clearly frame your argument. Your introduction should clearly state your position, and your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points you have made.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using more cohesive devices such as connectors and transition phrases. This will help your ideas flow more smoothly from one to another.
task response
Be careful of language accuracy, for example, 'included' should be 'include' in the introduction and 'bloos' should be 'blood'.
task response
You have made a strong effort to present a clear position on the topic, and you have provided reasons for your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps give it a clear structure overall.