IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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It is a
belived
Correct your spelling
belief
by
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
 in some countries that it is more essential to have a
house
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 of your own than to live in a rented
house
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,owing to their cultural
belief
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beliefs
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it could pose challenges to the young generation as buying a
property
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 nowadays is
increasing
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increasingly
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in
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apply
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difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
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due to
Linking Words
 the rise in population, and it will
also
Linking Words
 affect the environment negatively. In the eyes of some, owning a
house
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 means settling down and having a successful life. It
has
Verb problem
is
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 rooted down to the cultures as a condition for marriage, especially for men. Many
people
Use synonyms
 from Asian countries,
for example
Linking Words
,
working
Wrong verb form
work
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 hard and
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 for their entire lives to own a
house
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, in order to get married. In fact, there is a survey in China revealing that 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of the population could not find a partner as they do not have a
house
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 under their names.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many
people
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 deem having a
property
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 asset as a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 of financial safety, as
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
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 of those
building
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buildings
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 will be expected to keep increasing.
This
Linking Words
 mindset,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, puts the young generation under great pressure, as there are limited land resources
while
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 the number of demands keeps increasing.
For instance
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, in
metropolis
Add an article
a metropolis
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such
Linking Words
 as Beijing or Hong Kong,
property
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 prices have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled since the
last
Linking Words
 decade, making it
imposssible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 for
young
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the young
a young
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individual
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individuals
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 to find affordable options.
Moreover
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, the demands of having a
house
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also
Linking Words
 exhaust the environment by reducing the available
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
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further
Linking Words
, which means more woodlands will be cleared and replaced by new residential units. Indeed, big cities like New York or Ho Chi Minh
city
Capitalize word
City
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 witness
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant decline in green spaces in replace of new houses, raising an alarm and posing threats of
worsen
Change the verb form
worsening
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 air pollution and climate change. In conclusion, various cultures deem having a
house
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 as mandatory for marriage, and it
also
Linking Words
 means financial
stable
Replace the word
stability
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. Yet, the pressure of
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
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 housing units stresses
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the environment and pushes the cost of
property
Use synonyms
 insanely high for young
people
Use synonyms
 to afford.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor spelling mistakes (e.g., 'belived' should be 'believed', 'imposssible' should be 'impossible').
content development
Try to elaborate more on the consequences of owning a home versus renting, as well as the implications of this cultural value on society and individuals.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the connection between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay. This will help the reader follow your arguments more clearly.
content relevance
The essay presents clear and relevant ideas about why owning a home is important in some cultures.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-stated and frame the discussion effectively.
supporting points
The use of specific examples, such as surveys and specific countries, helps to support the argument and makes it more compelling.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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