In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

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A vast majority of people are getting used to paying via apps or credit cards more than physical
money
. Most of the payments will purely become cashless in upcoming years. I
am agree
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agree
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that it is accepted by young people as being much more familiar with modern technology and being aware of the security that digital cards bring us ,
however
; some
elder
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elders
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could not
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cannot
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cope with
this
way of paying because of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
attitude to
money
and concern about access to strange devices. I think when it comes
a
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to a
show examples
day without
money
, some might not be happy with it. It is witnessed that
new
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the new
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generation
tend
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tends
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to purchase
Correct article usage
the convenient
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convenient
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convenience
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and safety that modern life
provide
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provides
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with
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apply
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. Credit cards are very light and private, they more often
use
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used
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in our daily lives. They changed our concepts to paper
money
in a way which prepared us
to
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for
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cashless
Correct article usage
the cashless
show examples
era. Followed by the accessibility to the bank accounts would be provided by phones.
For instance
, when they need to transform their
money
or
to
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apply
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pay fees and bills, digital apps easily connect and do it in the moment.
Also
, with changeable second passwords that expire immediately, the privacy of these applications lifts up. In my point of
view
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view,
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all of them closely
resulted
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resulted in
resulted from
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a demand
in
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for
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evaluation
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the evaluation
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of paper cash.
On the other hand
, some
elder
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elders
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can not
adopt
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adapt
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themselves
with
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to
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this
change. They are used to handle
money
. In
other word
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another word
other words
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, they might feel pleasure to touch these valuable papers when counting. Maintaining
money
,
although
, is much
difficult
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more difficult
show examples
for them,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is not as much as learning how to use technology. As I think, it might be a confusing condition in
a
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apply
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case they make a mistake and rely on others to solve it, so they prefer to pass their own path. In conclusion,
however
, these days, the young and the
elder
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elderly
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preference
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preferences
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are two different sides, I
believed
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believe
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that shifting to purely digital cash trading will be inevitable.
Submitted by ahmadpour5n on

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Use more specific examples to substantiate your points, making your arguments more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Add more connections between sentences and ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task response
Avoid grammatical mistakes such as incorrect verb forms and articles to improve clarity.
task response
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
You included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The main points were relevant and supported the overall argument, contributing to a cohesive essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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