Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, several experts think that children should begin learning an international
language
in primary school rather than secondary. I
also
concur
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
statement because learning at an early stage is recommended by experts and opens
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
range of career opportunities.
Whereas
language
disorder is the only drawback of the same.
To begin
with, at an early period of life, the ability to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
and learn
at
Add a missing verb
is at
show examples
its peak as at that time the brain is in
developing
Correct article usage
the developing
show examples
stage. Many
neurologist
Change to a plural noun
neurologists
show examples
disseminate that the initial age is the right time to inculcate skills
such
as learning a foreign
language
, as at
this
time children are more likely to be impressionable and enthusiastic,
therefore
, learning an alien
language
is not only
wise
Correct article usage
a wise
show examples
approach but
also
fruitful for their holistic development.
In addition
, approaching a second
language
at primary schools helps students to enter high-quality education. Children who are
master
Fix the agreement mistake
masters
show examples
in two languages May attain more educational benefits, like studying overseas. Take India as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
primary illustration, where 30% of students had 75% scholarships to study in America because they got C1+ level in English. When it comes to the advantages of learning a foreign
language
in primary school, the most prominent one is suffering from
language
disorders.
This
is to say that
6
Correct article usage
the 6
show examples
to 12 age period is
also
the period of learning the mother tongue, and educatees can easily make mistakes in recognizing two different languages.
For example
, in 2019, The New York Times showed that 75% of
Indonesians
Replace the word
Indonesian
show examples
learners who approached
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
in grade 4
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed to speak their own
language
clearly
as well as
fluently. In conclusion, early learning is more effective because the brain processes information quickly.
Thus
, the concept of learning
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
international
language
in elementary school has many benefits that outweigh
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
drawbacks,
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay. For example, 'learning at an early stage is recommended by experts and opens wide range of career opportunities' could be rephrased as 'learning at an early age is often recommended by experts and can open a wide range of career opportunities.' More careful proofreading is needed.
content
Try to develop your points with greater depth and detail. For instance, you mentioned that 'language disorder is the only drawback,' but this notion deserves more exploration and evidence.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Transition phrases such as 'Besides,' 'In addition,' and 'However' can help in smoothing the transitions between ideas.
structure
The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader easily follow your arguments.
task response
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages, and it provides examples to support its points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: