Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, several experts think that children should begin learning an international
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in primary school rather than secondary. I
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

concur
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change preposition
with this

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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statement because learning at an early stage is recommended by experts and opens
wide
Add an article
a wide

The noun phrase wide range seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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range of career opportunities.
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

disorder is the only drawback of the same.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, at an early period of life, the ability to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt

The word adopt doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and learn
at
Add a missing verb
is at

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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its peak as at that time the brain is in
developing
Correct article usage
the developing

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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stage. Many
neurologist
Change to a plural noun
neurologists

The singular countable noun neurologist follows the quantifier Many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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disseminate that the initial age is the right time to inculcate skills
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, as at
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

time children are more likely to be impressionable and enthusiastic,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, learning an alien
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not only
wise
Correct article usage
a wise

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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approach but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fruitful for their holistic development.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, approaching a second
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at primary schools helps students to enter high-quality education. Children who are
master
Fix the agreement mistake
masters

It seems that master may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in two languages May attain more educational benefits, like studying overseas. Take India as
an
Change the article
a

The article an may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word primary.

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primary illustration, where 30% of students had 75% scholarships to study in America because they got C1+ level in English. When it comes to the advantages of learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in primary school, the most prominent one is suffering from
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

disorders.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is to say that
6
Correct article usage
the 6

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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to 12 age period is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the period of learning the mother tongue, and educatees can easily make mistakes in recognizing two different languages.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in 2019, The New York Times showed that 75% of
Indonesians
Replace the word
Indonesian

The word Indonesians doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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learners who approached
English
Change the article
the English

It appears that the article usage in the phrase English language is incorrect. Consider changing your article usage in this phrase.

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language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in grade 4
were
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb were appears to be unnecessary here.

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failed to speak their own
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

clearly
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fluently. In conclusion, early learning is more effective because the brain processes information quickly.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the concept of learning
and
Correct your spelling
an

The word and doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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international
language
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in elementary school has many benefits that outweigh
it's
Replace the word
its

It appears that the contraction it's should be a possessive pronoun instead. Consider changing it.

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drawbacks,

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grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout the essay. For example, 'learning at an early stage is recommended by experts and opens wide range of career opportunities' could be rephrased as 'learning at an early age is often recommended by experts and can open a wide range of career opportunities.' More careful proofreading is needed.
content
Try to develop your points with greater depth and detail. For instance, you mentioned that 'language disorder is the only drawback,' but this notion deserves more exploration and evidence.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Transition phrases such as 'Besides,' 'In addition,' and 'However' can help in smoothing the transitions between ideas.
structure
The structure of the essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader easily follow your arguments.
task response
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages, and it provides examples to support its points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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