Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that online friendship possesses less value than in-person friendship. I
completeley
agree with Correct your spelling
completely
this
opinion and believe that real-life friendships
are more meaningful because of physical presence and shared experience.
Real-life friendships
strengthen emotional connection through physical presence. It enables people to have real life
interactions and Add a hyphen
real-life
this
, in turn, contributes to forming intimate relationships and understanding. In-person friendships
, in fact, allow individuals to hear the tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions, and therefore
it helps to facilitate effective communication. Moreover
, physical interactions, for example
, high-fives, hugs and shared activities can forge a strong affinity and sharpen a keen sense of emotional intimacy that may be quite difficult to replace entirely through virtual interactions. For example
, non-verbal cues, like posture, paralanguage, and eye contact, can deepen the intimate connection.
To conclude
, I believe that true friendships
can only be built on physical presence and shared experience that cannot take place in virtual fridnship
. It is Correct your spelling
friendships
therefore
real-life friendship proves to be more meaningful.Submitted by sejal.h on
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task achievement
Your essay is well-structured, but to improve, you could further develop your second paragraph with more specific examples or studies that support your points. This would enhance the depth of your argument and provide a stronger basis for your claims.
task achievement
Make sure to include examples from personal experience, relevant studies, or well-known personalities to elucidate your points in more detail. This will add weight to your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your sentences flow smoothly by using a variety of linking words and phrases. This will make your essay more cohesive. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'Additionally' to connect your supporting points seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor spelling errors such as 'completeley,' 'fridnship,' and 'paralanguage.' Although they do not hinder understanding, correcting them will give a more polished impression.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument. This shows a good grasp of essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Your points are logically arranged and easy to follow. The transitions between ideas are smooth, contributing to the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
You present clear and comprehensive ideas, addressing the prompt effectively. Your argument is easy to understand and well-articulated.
task achievement
The examples you provide, like physical interactions and non-verbal cues, are relevant and support your main points. This adds credibility to your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite