IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pulpils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a school uniform?

#schools #school #uniforms #appearance #pulpils #dress #code #uniform
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Some
people
 believe that
using
Verb problem
wearing
show examples
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a good quality of
school
 with other
people
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that using
unfiorm
Correct your spelling
uniform
is make
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 us to be equal
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
people
.I will
Correct your spelling
discuss
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both of
my
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of my opinion
according to
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 On the one hand,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
acept
Correct your spelling
agree
 that using
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 for going to
school
 is important
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 we can know each other
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 our friends.
mostly
Capitalize word
Mostly
show examples
 in my country have different
couts
Correct your spelling
kinds
 of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 prmauka,hitam putih and sport.It can make every day
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
variety
Replace the word
varied
show examples
 in every day.
However
,many
people
 have
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
show examples
 think that using a good
uniform
 is to be like
style
Add an article
the style
a style
show examples
 of their
school
 but is not true for students.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example,in my home town many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
using
Verb problem
wear
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
types
tpyes
Correct your spelling
types
 of different
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 and we can know about where they have
school
 because they have differ cloths all the same time,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that wearing the same
uniform
 can help them to
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not insult each other
then
 they can not lower each other.
fouthermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,several
people
 can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
insult ecah otehr because
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 it
verry
Correct your spelling
very
 risky.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
insatnce
Correct your spelling
instance
,in my prya city
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
people
 have
made
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 some
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 because
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
i
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
unifom so that way local
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 made some
rulle
Correct your spelling
rules
 and
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
 of unform from
this
.
Nevertheless
,using it can know about
gender
Correct article usage
the gender
show examples
 between
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
 and
boy
Fix the agreement mistake
boys
show examples
.
lastly
,using
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
,
also
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 many
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
know who
is have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
school
 or who
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not have
school
.
This
 is because
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 important using
unifrom
Correct your spelling
uniform
 at some
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
using
Verb problem
wearing
show examples
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 can help each other to know
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
who is have
Correct your spelling
school
schoole
Correct your spelling
school
 or not and we all not to compare each other in many
school
Change to a plural noun
schools
show examples
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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introduction
Introduction could be clearer with a precise thesis statement explaining the aim of the essay. This can help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
supported main points
Work on developing your main points with more detailed examples and clearer explanations. This will strengthen your task achievement score.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow between your ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, ensuring all your points are connected.
accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors, as they can distract the reader and detract from your overall argument. Reviewing these will help raise your coherence and cohesion score.
conclusion
You have included a conclusion that reiterates your main argument, which is a positive aspect.
balanced argument
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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