Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

#people #career #path #lives #life

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In the eyes of some, focusing on the early chosen career path guarantees satisfaction in their working

lives

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. In my opinion, as modern technologies

develops

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develop

show examples

really fast,

job

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markets may vary through time,

hence

Linking Words

people

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should be able to adapt to changes, especially professionally.

In addition

Linking Words

, maintaining

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work-life

Correct article usage

a work-life

show examples

balance and securing a

job

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with

colleaguses

Correct your spelling

colleagues

who share the same values

also

Linking Words

plays

Correct subject-verb agreement

play

show examples

an important part in the

acquire

Wrong verb form

acquiring

show examples

of a satisfying working life. In the contemporary era, technology has become an integral part of

everyday's

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everyday

show examples

lives

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. The advancement in technology leads to rapid changes in the

job

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market.

For example

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, Artificial Intelligence is emerging and replacing how

people

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do certain jobs, from advertising to computer coding.

Hence

Linking Words

, individuals should be flexible and open-minded to learn and adjust their career pathways

accordingly

Linking Words

to the new era. With

this

Linking Words

mindset,

people

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will be prepared to make any necessary adaption in order to find satisfaction in their professional

lives

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Moreover

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, in order to be satisfied with their careers, it is essential to aim for

work

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-life balance. In fact,the importance of having a healthy lifestyle

beside

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besides

show examples

work

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is stressed by various research, saying that young professionals need to spend time

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apply

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nurturing their personal

lives

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such

Linking Words

as doing physical exercises or sharing quality

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

with friends and families. Those activities will help refresh their minds and revitalise their

creativities

Replace the word

creativity

show examples

and passion for

work

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, which will eventually provide productivity in their careers.

In addition

Linking Words

, another factor

people

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might want to look into is finding a suitable working environment. As different organisations are built around different working cultures, with different core values, it is fundamental to look for a workplace that shares the same

value

Fix the agreement mistake

values

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, which will help boost one's passion for the

job

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. In conclusion, I believe

thar

Correct your spelling

that

people

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should be flexible and

preapre

Correct your spelling

prepare

prepared

to change jobs to quickly adapt

Change preposition

show examples

the fast-growing digital era.

Moreover

Linking Words

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

the nature of the

work

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, individuals should look for

a suitable working cultures

Correct the article-noun agreement

a suitable working culture

suitable working cultures

show examples

and aim to maintain a balanced life after

work

Use synonyms

Submitted by kimtruong270192 on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the flexibility required in modern job markets and how maintaining a work-life balance and finding a suitable work environment can lead to job satisfaction. However, try to introduce more specific examples to substantiate your points better.

coherence cohesion

While your essay contains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported. For example, you mention how colleagues who share the same values play an important role but do not elaborate much on this point.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly disrupt the flow of your essay. Be sure to proofread your work for minor mistakes like 'preapre,' 'everyday's,' and 'colleaguses.'

logical structure

Your essay has a clear and well-organized structure, which aids in the overall readability and flow of your arguments.

introduction conclusion present

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay and reinforce your main points.

supported main points

The points about rapid technological advancements and the necessity for flexibility in career paths are well-made and relevant to the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

The discussion on work-life balance and finding a workplace that shares similar values adds depth to your argument, contributing to a comprehensive response.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

Some people think that it is better for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many developing countries, there is a problem of declining quality of air and water. What are the causes for this and what measures could be taken to prevent this?

In many countries around the world, life expectcy is increase. Discuse the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news evetns. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people think that the amount of time we spend using the internet has a negative effect on social interaction, but other people feel that it opens up more possibilities for communication. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using the internet.