Many people decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it. This they argue, leads to a more satisfying working life. To what extent do you agree with this view? What other things can people do in order to have a satisfying working life?

In the eyes of some, focusing on the early chosen career path guarantees satisfaction in their working
lives
. In my opinion, as modern technologies
develops
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
really fast,
job
markets may vary through time,
hence
,
people
should be able to adapt to changes, especially professionally.
In addition
, maintaining
work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
balance and securing a
job
with
colleaguses
Correct your spelling
colleagues
who share the same values
also
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
an important part in the
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
of a satisfying working life. In the contemporary era, technology has become an integral part of
everyday's
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everyday
show examples
lives
. The advancement in technology leads to rapid changes in the
job
market.
For example
, Artificial Intelligence is emerging and replacing how
people
do certain jobs, from advertising to computer coding.
Hence
, individuals should be flexible and open-minded to learn and adjust their career pathways
accordingly
to the new era. With
this
mindset,
people
will be prepared to make any necessary adaption in order to find satisfaction in their professional
lives
.
Moreover
, in order to be satisfied with their careers, it is essential to aim for
work
-life balance. In fact,the importance of having a healthy lifestyle
beside
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besides
show examples
work
is stressed by various research, saying that young professionals need to spend time
on
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apply
show examples
nurturing their personal
lives
,
such
as doing physical exercises or sharing quality
times
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time
show examples
with friends and families. Those activities will help refresh their minds and revitalise their
creativities
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creativity
show examples
and passion for
work
, which will eventually provide productivity in their careers.
In addition
, another factor
people
might want to look into is finding a suitable working environment. As different organisations are built around different working cultures, with different core values, it is fundamental to look for a workplace that shares the same
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
, which will help boost one's passion for the
job
. In conclusion, I believe
thar
Correct your spelling
that
people
should be flexible and
preapre
Correct your spelling
prepare
prepared
to change jobs to quickly adapt
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the fast-growing digital era.
Moreover
,
beside
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besides
show examples
the nature of the
work
, individuals should look for
a suitable working cultures
Correct the article-noun agreement
a suitable working culture
suitable working cultures
show examples
and aim to maintain a balanced life after
work
.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the flexibility required in modern job markets and how maintaining a work-life balance and finding a suitable work environment can lead to job satisfaction. However, try to introduce more specific examples to substantiate your points better.
coherence cohesion
While your essay contains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported. For example, you mention how colleagues who share the same values play an important role but do not elaborate much on this point.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly disrupt the flow of your essay. Be sure to proofread your work for minor mistakes like 'preapre,' 'everyday's,' and 'colleaguses.'
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and well-organized structure, which aids in the overall readability and flow of your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay and reinforce your main points.
supported main points
The points about rapid technological advancements and the necessity for flexibility in career paths are well-made and relevant to the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
The discussion on work-life balance and finding a workplace that shares similar values adds depth to your argument, contributing to a comprehensive response.

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