The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Data has become more reachable since the use of
internet
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the internet
show examples
. I find it a marvelous tool that
have
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has
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to
be manage
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be managed
show examples
carefully.
Analysing
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By analysing
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its educational uses, the privacy of personal data and
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the widespearing
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widespearing
Correct your spelling
wide speaking
wide-spearing
of fake
news
we can have a big picture
in
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of
show examples
the matter. Education and access to any kind of studies and
researches
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research
show examples
has
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have
show examples
been massively impacted by the
internet
because
the
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of the
show examples
speed in having available specific information in order to develop any project or perform lessons effectively,
for instance
, my father in law who runs an industrial company
who
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apply
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had to look for
an
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a
show examples
special machine in order to
got
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get
show examples
a
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apply
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work done, he just had to look into the web and suddenly many machines were
availables
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available
around the world even with their respective prices to choice,
such
a
soulution
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solution
was impossible to achieve in the past without
internet
.
In contrast
, people have been
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a victim
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victim
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victims
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from
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of
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data
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a data
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leak
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leaks
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,
with
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and with
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the advances in technology
the
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apply
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crime has
advaced
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advanced
too.
Therefore
are some hackers
who their
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whose
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income depends on how many private pictures or vital
companies'
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company'
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information can they
exchance
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exchange
hence
internet
providers and software companies must be always aware of their security
system
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systems
show examples
to avoid it.
Besides
fake
news
is the current issue, as social media and smartphones are in our routine. Some want to
get
Verb problem
take
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advantage
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the advantage
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of the careless use of
this
gadget from most of the people who
belive
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believe
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the first
news
he
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they
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watch despite
of
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apply
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where the source is,
as a
result
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result,
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the
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a
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new wave of lies around the web have born, as an illustration in my country, in one social-media app, there was
an information
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information
a piece of information
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that the new football
socker
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soccer
locker
champion was Junior which of course was
a fake
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fake news
a piece of fake news
show examples
news
, but everybody in the city went out to celebrate.
To conclude
,
Internet
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the Internet
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have
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has
show examples
a paramount role in
the
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apply
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humanity's development because
its
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of its
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effective
feautures
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functions
but it
rely
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relies
show examples
in
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on
upon
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each of us the
responsably
Correct your spelling
responsible
responsibly
use
of
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apply
show examples
this
tool.
Submitted by otiyog on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally into the next, and try to maintain a consistent argument throughout.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that both the introduction and conclusion are developed sufficiently. The introduction should clearly state your stance, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your points.
task achievement
Try to support your main points with concrete, relevant examples that are explained thoroughly.
task achievement
Consider working on the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Make sure each point you make is fully explained and easy to follow.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the main points of the task, offering a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which is crucial for task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay covers multiple aspects of the issue, showcasing your understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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