IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining.Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

#countries #animals #plants
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In the modern age, in some areas, there is a reduction in the varieties of
animals
 and
plants
. There are several reasons for these problems ,pollution and actions of humans are some kinds of those.
However
,the writer believes that conservative programs or the increase in national parks can be taken to tackle these issues. One of the key factors that can be considered is the habitat destruction that can be caused by humans. It is acknowledged that our activities have negative effects on the natural
environment
. To serve the demand of living, there is a growth in deforestation or hunting activities.
Moreover
, in some developing countries, forest trees and exotic
plants
 are cut down to enhance the quality of the agriculture field and economy, Take rural areas in Vietnam as an example, citizens choose to take natural resources from
plants
 and food resources from cattle
animals
.
That is
 why agriculture in these areas is better than cities in some cases. Moving onto another reason, pollution takes an importance in the decline of
plants
 and
animals
.
Moreover
,the quality of the green
environment
 has been affected seriously in recent years because of the bad levels of ozone.
This
 leads to some changes in climate and weather.
Therefore
, it is difficult to improve the growing of trees and the lifestyle of breeding
animals
.
Although
 people nowadays are dealing with the deterioration in the natural
environment
, there are various solutions that can be used for solving these problems. It is affected conservation and environmental programs have a key impact on human beings. By improving the misunderstanding of people, there is a keen attention for them.
For instance
, a national park is a crucial place that helps wildlife resources in protection and conservation.
This
 makes them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not dependent on natural climate or harmful actions.
Thus
, both people and the
environment
 play an essential role in wildlife lifestyles.
That is
 why our society should take more beneficial action to not only protect our
environment
 but
also
 address issues of the drop in them.
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity by polishing the language in places and ensuring that all sentences flow smoothly from one to the next. For instance, review and correct sentences with minor grammatical issues, such as 'This makes them are not dependent...' to 'This ensures that they are not dependent...'.
task achievement
To further improve the task response, elaborate more on how these proposed solutions could be effectively implemented. Also, consider discussing potential challenges and how to overcome them.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses the decline in the number of animals and plants, discussing human actions and pollution as key factors.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of examples, such as referring to rural areas in Vietnam, to substantiate the arguments put forth.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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