In many countries, the number of animals adn plants is decling. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
The assumption of wild animals and plants
are
being decreased. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Due to
having
deforestation without permission, the problem is becoming worse. Unnecessary verb
apply
However
, the problems can be tackled by generating some heavy rules with significant punishment.
One of the issue
associated with Change to a plural noun
issues
this
is that green fields run a higher risk of being removed by new construction. Besides
, the
overpopulation requires Correct article usage
apply
the
extended living Correct article usage
apply
area
in order to cut down the forest which is a habitat for many animals and plants. It reported that China used to have Fix the agreement mistake
areas
variety
of pandas because of the suitable environment for the development of bamboo. The increasing number of citizens can be Add an article
a variety
seem
as being out of control; Correct your spelling
seen
thus
, Chinese
Correct article usage
the Chinese
has
to repurpose some farming lands into residential areas.
Another alarming reason is that the Correct subject-verb agreement
have
wide spread
of growing factories happens more regularly. It can be recognized that industrial actions release poisonous substances Correct your spelling
widespread
along with
having no clean the
Correct article usage
apply
wastes
. Fix the agreement mistake
waste
Furthermore
, the wastes can represent many
serious pollution Correct word choice
apply
such
as air and water. As a consequence
, the abundance of marine species can be killed, which leads to the
Correct article usage
a
dramatically
decrease in the number of species in the world.
One solution to Change the word
dramatic
this
problem is for government
to have some creation Correct article usage
the government
on
laws with heavier punishment. Obviously, if there is Change preposition
of
a
appearance of serious punishments, individuals have to be more aware of their actions. In the past, there Change the article
an
was
not any rules forcing individuals to protect the forest, Change the verb form
were
conversely
, there are many laws related to environment
protection. Replace the word
environmental
Consequently
, the effectiveness can be simply considered that the fall on destruction
of Add an article
the destruction
forest
.
In conclusion, Add an article
the forest
government
can generate rules with heavy punishment to face Add an article
the government
with
the issues of deforestation and industrial activities.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. However, work on making your main points more explicitly supported by examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Some parts of your essay could benefit from better logical flow between sentences and ideas. Try to use more linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task, identifying causes for the decline in animal and plant numbers and suggesting solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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