Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether it is possible for a nation to have economic development and be
environmental
friendly. Change the adjective
environmentally
While
some individuals argue this
cannot be happened
at the same time, I personally agree with those who believe that it is possible to have both.
The economic advancement of a country could have numerous unavoidable harmful Change to the active voice
happen
effect
on the Fix the agreement mistake
effects
environment
. The majority of money which is gained by a nation is through trading and business with other countries. It means that tremendous import and export happens daily through road
, air or oceans. The great numbers of cargo ships sail through the seas and evacuate their waste directly to the water which contaminates water and puts marine Fix the agreement mistake
roads
speices
life in Correct your spelling
species
dangers
. Meanwhile, large volumes of Carbon Dioxide are emitted Fix the agreement mistake
danger
to
the atmosphere by cargo Change preposition
into
airplanes
which fly in order to transfer fresh goods, Change the spelling
aeroplanes
such
as vegetables and fruits. The country might able
to Add a missing verb
be able
have
profit from trading, but it causes unrepairable Unnecessary verb
apply
damages
to the Fix the agreement mistake
damage
environment
.
However
, managing the process of trading and focus
on local production could decrease its negative impact on Wrong verb form
focusing
environment
and Add an article
the environment
having
Wrong verb form
have
economical
success as well. Countries should focus on promoting their local products and manufacturing for their Replace the word
economic
residence
in order to eliminate Replace the word
residents
the
Correct article usage
apply
import
goods. By decreasing the number of unnecessary business Replace the word
imported
journey
and limiting the number of cargo vehicles Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
the
environmental pollution like air and water decreases noticeably. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, the government should not pay transportation costs and foreign taxes on import
objects and could save more wealth to invest in its country.
In conclusion, Replace the word
imported
although
many people suppose making profit
and caring about Add an article
a profit
environment
is impossible, I assume that the Add an article
the environment
counrties
are able to eliminate their pollution by producing more Correct your spelling
countries
instead
of importing.Submitted by Negar_seddigh on
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single idea that is fully developed. The second body paragraph feels somewhat scattered because it addresses multiple solutions without deeply exploring any single one.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention a specific country that has managed to be both economically progressive and environmentally friendly.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structures to avoid small grammatical errors. For instance, "This cannot be happened" should be "This cannot happen".
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that frame the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs. This aids in readability and understanding.
task achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument, which shows good task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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