Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?
There is a problem that a myriad of gangland
crime
as soon as being released from prison. The writer of Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
this
essay supposes that the causes of this
problem are due to
outside circumstances and human beings. It can be tackled by both the authorities and federation
.
The primary reasons for Correct article usage
the federation
this
problem are the outside circumstances and their human being. Firstly
, it comes from the prejudgments of others. In fact, folk inclined
to discriminate against people who used to be a Add a missing verb
are inclined
crime
, which can bring loneliness and a sense of not being a part of the communities. So that syndicate
will behave badly to Fix the agreement mistake
syndicates
society
and be prone to crime
. Together with
those prejudgments, organized crime
find
it hard to find a job in order to maintain their lives. Change the verb form
finds
As a result
, they have to find some illegal jobs such
as being a robber or a thief. Secondly
, it can come from human beings. The one who has the wrong mindset can easily commit fouls and become organized crime
thanks to their actions. For example
, nation
who were born and raised in the slums with poor living conditions are going to get stuck in the prison circle.
Yet, it can be solved by both the government and Fix the agreement mistake
nations
society
. The government,
has to raise awareness among Remove the comma
apply
society
about how crimes become better after prison time in order to prevent them from being attacked by some prejudices. Also
, the authorities should provide jobs for the crimes so that they can make a living and maintain their after-prison life, which can guarantee their quality of life quality. For
Change preposition
Society
society
, nation
Correct article usage
the nation
need
to tolerate and forgive the past of Change the verb form
needs
those
organized Correct determiner usage
apply
crime
. So that they can find ways to make improvements, which can navigate them in the right direction to become better.
Taking everything into account, organized crime
easily crime
because of the discrimination from community
and their bad mindset. It can be solved by some actions from authorities and the forgiveness of Correct article usage
the community
community
.Correct article usage
the community
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by clearly outlining your main points in the introduction and concluding each paragraph with a summarizing sentence.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points better. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Check for clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas. Some sentences need rephrasing to improve the overall understanding. For example, 'The one who has the wrong mindset' can be more specific, like 'Individuals with a propensity for criminal behavior.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure to your response.
task achievement
You have identified and explained multiple causes of the problem and provided possible solutions, which shows a complete response to the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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