Some children seem to take up famous people as their role models. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #people #role #models

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When it comes to

celebrities

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, younger generations tend to emulate them as their

role

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models

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.In

this

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essay, the writer firmly believes that the benefits of educational value are overshadowed by the drawbacks of unrealistic

standards

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and unhealthy

behaviors

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behaviours

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. One reason why idolizing

celebrities

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role

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models

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is detrimental is their promotion of unrealistic societal

standards

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. To put it simply, even though some famous people have a right standard,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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others do not and

this

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can directly impact

children

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's minds as they will see it as a good value in society.

For instance

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, some famous people, as seen in China, often abuse substances and promote

this

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

to their fans.

As a result

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, the young can think that it is just a method of relaxation without knowing the effect of

this

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action. Another drawback of seeing famous people as

role

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models

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is that it can lead to unhealthy lifestyles in

children

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In other words

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, some

celebrities

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embody beauty

standards

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, leading the younger generation to aspire to emulate them.

However

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, achieving

such

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standards

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may require extreme measures

such

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as prolonged fasting or excessive exercise.

Due to

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Correct pronoun usage

this

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children

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can form an unhealthy lifestyle.

For example

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, in South Korea, where beauty

standards

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are highly emphasized,

celebrities

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adhere to rigorous schedules to maintain their appearance.

However

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children

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may misconstrue

this

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as a healthy lifestyle and blindly emulate it, leading to detrimental effects.

By contrast

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, there is an advantage of

this

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tendency is that it helps young generations widen their knowledge. To explain

further

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, some

celebrities

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who use their platform to promote education, creativity, and critical thinking can contribute positively to

children

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's intellectual development.

While

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this

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may hold true, if these individuals are uninformed, they may disseminate misinformation that directly impacts the younger generation's worldview.

Consequently

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children

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not only fail to gain

any

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apply

show examples

valuable insights from

celebrities

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but

also

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acquire erroneous beliefs. In conclusion,

while

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idolizing

celebrities

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role

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models

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may offer educational value, the drawbacks of promoting unrealistic

standards

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and unhealthy lifestyles overshadow any potential benefits.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to refine and clarify the thesis statement in the introduction. The thesis should briefly encapsulate the main points that will be discussed without ambiguity.

coherence cohesion

Improve the transition between paragraphs. This could involve using more cohesive devices or phrases to ensure smooth flow from one point to the next.

task achievement

Strong examples have been provided, making the arguments more compelling and relatable.

coherence cohesion

Clear and logical structure is present, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

coherence cohesion

A concise conclusion effectively reinforces the main points discussed in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

330 words

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Some children seem to take up famous people as their role models. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Kids are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

Students generally prefer to choose the period they are supposed to study and the period they are free to have fun. They should be allowed to do their time management. Do you agree or disagree?

You have recently ordered a book online, but the book was delayed and has not arrived yet. Write a letter to the company manager. In the letter, you should: – give the details of your order. – explain why you need the book urgently. – suggest a solution for the situation.