Write about the following topic: Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional food and traditional ways of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many people have different ways to think about it.but now traditional food has changed to modern
foods
.I do not agree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
idea of changing local
foods
to modern
foods
in
this
era On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
traditional
foods
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
switching
Wrong verb form
switched
show examples
to modern
foods
because of
alteration
Correct article usage
the alteration
show examples
of zona now.
However
,many pupils think that should be
relpace
Correct your spelling
ready
in order they can find interesting
of
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apply
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
when they sell it,if it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stay in their pack like
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
time ago might be it will not to popular in
this
modern era.
Nevertheless
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of communities think
that is
not too good to try it.Eventually,a lot of
factorys
Correct your spelling
factors
factories
of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
foods
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
thought that they have to move to
other style
Change the wording
another style
other styles
show examples
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
advertaisment
Correct your spelling
advertising
,packaging and the sense.
For example
, in my home town seller has made a good snack from
Correct your spelling
a good
good
agood
Correct your spelling
good
packaging and
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisements
advertaisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement even though
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
it was old food
On the other hand
,some places
also
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
keeped
Correct your spelling
kept
show examples
the local
foods
to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
original
foods
as long as
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
time ago.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
it will have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
original taste from our heritage.
For instance
,I take
serabi
Correct your spelling
serai
for
this
, local
foods
as
this
have not
cahnge
Correct your spelling
change
changed
from
this
arise,and it
was keep
Change the verb form
kept
show examples
it from
Add an article
the flavor
a flavor
show examples
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
show examples
and contain
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
ingredience
Correct your spelling
ingredients
of
this
.
Event
Correct your spelling
Even
show examples
many of
Correct pronoun usage
its rival
show examples
rival
Fix the agreement mistake
rivals
show examples
it was really selling in the market because they had brought original
foos
Correct your spelling
foods
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Lastly
,l believe that who is
sell
Change the form of the verb
selling
show examples
this
, it was
verry
Correct your spelling
very
popular in my country because
event
Correct your spelling
even
show examples
it has no
popular
Replace the word
popularity
show examples
in the other places.
Also
it
cand
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
help old seller from their economic
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of living as they can sell in the park or in the market In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
local
foods
cannot be changed by modern
foods
event it was
cahnged
Correct your spelling
changed
from packaging and
advertaisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisements
,because
traditionl
Correct your spelling
traditional
foods
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
original
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
show examples
from
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
time ago.
Also
if we can keep it it will help
seller
Correct article usage
the seller
show examples
from
originality
Correct article usage
the originality
show examples
of
this
food
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This can be achieved through the use of transition words and phrases.
introduction conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your stance and briefly mentions the key points you will address.
task achievement
Provide more clear and detailed examples to support your main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas more thoroughly to ensure that each argument is fully explained.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to correct grammatical and spelling errors, which will help to improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and includes relevant examples from experience and knowledge.
task achievement
The essay reflects a genuine attempt to discuss the issue of traditional versus convenience foods.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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