IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that large companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Large
companies
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 can play a significant role in shaping local
communities
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, and one aspect that can greatly benefit these
communities
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 is the provision of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and social
facilities
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.
This
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 essay will agree with
this
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 view and discuss the importance of large
companies
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 contributing to the well-being of their local
communities
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 by offering
such
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facilities
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. When large
companies
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 provide sports and social
facilities
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, they create opportunities for
community
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 engagement and social cohesion. These
facilities
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 serve as gathering places where people from diverse backgrounds can come together, fostering a sense of belonging and unity.
For instance
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, a company-sponsored
community
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 sports centre can host various sporting venues and activities,
encouraing
Correct your spelling
encouraging
 residents of all ages to participate, interact, and build social connections.
This
Linking Words
 sense of
community
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 can have a positive impact on the
overall
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 well-being and harmony of the local population.
Moreover
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, these
facilities
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 can serve as platforms for
community
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-led initiatives and events.
For instance
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,
companies
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 can collaborate with local organisations to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
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organise cultural festivals, charity fundraisers, and other
community
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-focused activities.
This
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 involvement promotes a sense of ownership and pride among
community
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 members, instilling a shared
responsiblility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for the welfare and development of the locality. In conclusion, large
companies
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 have a
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to contribute to the well-being of local
communities
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, and
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 sports and social
facilities
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 in an effective way to
fulful
Correct your spelling
fulfil
this
Linking Words
 responsibility. By fostering
community
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 engagement, promoting social cohesion, and encouraging healthy lifestyles, these
facilities
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 can create positive impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life for the residents.

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grammar
Consider avoiding minor grammatical and typographical errors, such as 'encouraing' instead of 'encouraging' and 'responsiblity' instead of 'responsibility'. These minor mistakes can affect the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mentioning a real-life example of a large company that has successfully integrated sports and social facilities into a local community would strengthen your argument.
introduction and conclusion presence
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument effectively.
logical structure
The main points are well supported and logically structured, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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