In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some societies, there is a belief that they
told
children that they can reach Wrong verb form
tell
to
anything in the future if they try as hard as they can for their Change preposition
apply
goals
. Creating hope and a reason for hard effort is
the merits Correct subject-verb agreement
are
if
Correct your spelling
of
this
idea. However
, by not achieving the goals
, they may become dissapointed
and hopeless as its demerits.
On the one hand, not only growing up with Correct your spelling
disappointed
this
mentality can give children a
great reason and hope, but Correct article usage
apply
also
they want to go beyond their limits for reaching
their targets. Most of the Change preposition
to reach
times
, Fix the agreement mistake
time
this
is true and people who have this
opinion reach to
Change preposition
apply
a
place that they want.
Correct article usage
the
Although
this
message is a great one for the children, in real
world sometimes things do not go the way that you want regardless of your hard efforts. Add an article
the real
As a consequence
, this
can work upside down and it can have a negative effects
on people.
Turning to disadvantages, setting far-fetching Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative effect
negative effects
goals
and not reaching to
them Change preposition
apply
dispite
trying hard can have negative effects on our Correct your spelling
despite
mind
. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
This
gives you a feeling that yor
are not perfect enough and you will experience a huge failure Correct your spelling
you
as a result
. Dealing with this
bad feeling may need a great time for the victims with this
mentality which they can achieve anything they want by just trying really hard.
To sum up
, trying hard is a great way for making
yourself close enough to your dreams and Change preposition
to make
goals
but unfortunately, it is not enough and other factors play a significant role, so people should consider them too before identifying their purposes.Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on
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task achievement
To further improve the task achievement, incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support the main points. This can help illustrate ideas clearly and make the argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear structure, work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs and ensuring all ideas are well-connected. Use cohesive devices and transition words effectively to achieve better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Some minor grammatical errors can be polished for better clarity and precision. Paying attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement can help improve the overall quality.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the given topic, showing a balanced view and a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, giving the essay a clear start and end.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.