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Band 8

Some people think young people should be free to choose their job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #future
In contemporary times, there exists a paramount emphasis on choosing
jobs
 for the youth. It has elicited a plethora of controversies on
this
 subject. Several individuals believe that the young generation should be free to decide on their
jobs
while
 others claim that young populations should be realistic and think more about their future. In
this
 essay, I shall give major reasons which make me totally agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some say that the young population should think more about their future really because the development of technology leads to many changes in
jobs
. If don't be careful in selecting
jobs
, young individuals may face many big troubles in the future.
For instance
, in my country, at art universities, the students who study character illustration are coping with joblessness, because the development of AI has created intelligent software. It can produce character images quickly and effectively, which means AI is competing with them.
On the other hand
, It is thought that young residents should have the freedom to select their careers because
this
 helps them to have more experience in working.
Moreover
, it
also
 motivates their creativity, eventually, they are still young, so they have opportunities to restart . To illustrate, nowadays, many young people have become successful and rich thanks to their unusual ideas,
such
 as, in my country, a girl named Lan Anh, who gave up her good position in a bank with a high salary to turn back her hometown and work as a farmer. She has produced short videos about her daily working life and shared them on social media.
This
 attracted many people who were interested in her short videos.
Therefore
, she can earn a lot of money from them. In conclusion,
although
 both sides certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is better to let the young generation have the freedom to choose their
jobs
.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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coherence
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly from one idea to the next and review the transitions between sentences for improved clarity.
task response
While addressing both sides of the argument, ensure that the essay thoroughly discusses the points equally to offer a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant specific examples that effectively support the main points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly stated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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