In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
The
notion
that anything can be achieved by hardwork
and Correct your spelling
hard work
perservarance
has sparked intense debates recently. Correct your spelling
perseverance
This
easy
will delve into the merits and demerits of imposing Correct your spelling
essay
this
phenomenon on children ,
Remove the comma
apply
while
maintaining a neutral stance.
Proponents of this
notion
argue that they
are numerous benefits to Correct pronoun usage
there
this
educating Correct determiner usage
apply
youngers
on how paramount Correct your spelling
younger
hardwork
is. Correct your spelling
hard work
Firstly
, when minors develop mindset
that Add an article
a mindset
the mindset
there
anything is attainable by continous Correct pronoun usage
apply
hardwork
, It motivates them Correct your spelling
hard work
in
Change preposition
to
pursing
their dreams and Verb problem
pursue
Change preposition
in an
an
event that they face changes, they are able to restrategise, refocus and restart. Correct article usage
the
This
plays an instrumental well-being not only in
an individual but a society as a whole. Change preposition
of
For instance
, a student having difficulties in a subject in school will have the impetus to ciontinue
trying hard, devoting a substantial amount of time to learn the subjects as they believe that there is nothing Correct your spelling
continue
hardworkwork
cannot achieve. Correct your spelling
hard work work
Additionally
, almost most of the innovation and technological advancement have
been a success through Change the verb form
has
hardwork
and resilience, if these people Correct your spelling
hard work
up
on these ventures Add a missing verb
were up
due to
uncertanty
and Correct your spelling
uncertainty
obstancle
obscured, the world would be stagnant.
Correct your spelling
obstacle
obstacles
However
, the disadvantages of this
notion
cannot be understated. Working hard in itself has no drawbacks but the extent at
which an individual will achieve anything is what becomes a problem, Change preposition
to
for instance
, a medical student have
academic challenges may not be willing to Change the verb form
has
enroll
in Change the spelling
enrol
an alternative programs
because they believe they can excel in the field because of the preinstalled Correct the article-noun agreement
an alternative program
alternative programs
notion
. This
posses
a huge challenge and can lead to psychological disorders, depression, financial loss and Correct your spelling
poses
heihhtened
stress Correct your spelling
heightened
level
in the event that their dreams are not fulfilled. Fix the agreement mistake
levels
Hence
, it is essential for caregivers and career guidance instructors to offer appropriate education on hardwork
.
In conclusion, both the benefits are Correct your spelling
hard work
potentail
drawbacks are valid. Correct your spelling
potential
Although
it is incontrovertible that hardwork
has high success rates and has Correct your spelling
hard work
lead
to numerous Wrong verb form
led
invention
and Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
tecnological
Correct your spelling
technological
advance
, its potential drawback Fix the agreement mistake
advances
such
as finanvial
loss, mental dysregulation and self harm cannot be overlooked. It is essential that an individual should carefully consider Correct your spelling
financial
this
factors before Correct determiner usage
these
endeveouring
to pursue a career or project.Correct your spelling
endeavouring
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language
There are several small grammatical mistakes (e.g., 'children how paramount hardwork is' should be 'children on how paramount hard work is') and typos (e.g., 'easy' should be 'essay', 'coinntinue' should be 'continue'). Proofreading your work will significantly improve this.
structure
The essay could be more logically organized. Consider breaking it into more paragraphs to clearly separate different points. Proper use of transitional phrases will also aid the reader in following your argument clearly.
content development
Clarify your points more thoroughly. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is well-developed with specific examples or explanations. For instance, elaborate on how hard work contributes to technological advancement with more concrete examples.
content
You've provided a fairly balanced discussion covering both the advantages and disadvantages of the message.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion serve their purpose well by outlining the essay's topic and summarizing the key points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?