Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can the government do to reduce the amount of waste produced?
Global trash
production
numbers are
increasing recently. I would say that the root cause of Wrong verb form
have been
this
situation is obviously capitalism
. However
, this
is not a problem that impossible
to Add a missing verb
is impossible
be solved
and there are some ways that Wrong verb form
solve
the
governments around the world can Correct article usage
apply
do to
decrease Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
waste
production
numbers, which is through preventive law
enforcement and sanction
.
Fix the agreement mistake
sanctions
Capitalism
is the root of many problems in the world, including the waste
problem. The sole purpose of capitalism
is to gain more benefits by any means even if it will harms
the Change the verb form
harm
environment
. For instance
, many companies
would sell anything and force us to buy their products that us society do not really need. Obviously
Add a comma
Obviously,
this
could cause a
hyperconsumerism and will Correct article usage
apply
make
an increase in Verb problem
cause
waste
production
. Moreover
, most (or I could say all) of these companies
do not even care about the consequences since the important thing for them is money.
Because of that, it is important for the
governments to tackle the main Correct article usage
apply
issue
that cause Fix the agreement mistake
issues
this
trash production
which is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
capitalism
and hyperconsumerism. First,
as a preventive measure, the government could form the
Correct article usage
a
law
that ruled
Wrong verb form
rules
Change preposition
on environment
environment
protection and Replace the word
environmental
waste
management. By doing this
, all corporations must follow the law
and procedure before they produce a product that potentially harm
the Change the verb form
harms
environment
. For the
enforcement, the government could give Correct article usage
apply
sanction
by taxing them Fix the agreement mistake
sanctions
higher
when do not follow the Rephrase
more
law
.
To conclude
, an increase in the amount of trash globally is caused by capitalism
. The solutions that the government can do are by creating law
to prevent the Add an article
a law
companies
harm the environment
and give
Wrong verb form
giving
Fix the agreement mistake
sanctions
sanction
by taxing the Fix the agreement mistake
sanctions
companies
that do not obey the rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
more
Change the word
apply
higher
.Replace the word
highly
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task well by identifying capitalism and hyperconsumerism as causes of increasing waste production and suggests viable solutions. However, the arguments could be more developed with additional examples and deeper analysis to strengthen the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is generally cohesive, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there could be smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to enhance the overall flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Varying sentence structures and utilizing more complex sentences can improve the coherence and sophistication of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure accuracy in language use and avoid small grammatical errors. In the conclusion, “more higher” should be “higher.” Additionally, some sentences can be rephrased for clarity and conciseness.
Introduction and Conclusion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a strong framework for the essay.
Task Achievement
The essay identifies the root cause of the issue and suggests relevant solutions effectively, addressing the task comprehensively.
Supporting Points
The main points are supported with explanations, demonstrating an understanding of the topic, though more specific examples would enhance the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!