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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the plan of a library in 2001 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pictures
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about the plan of a
library
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was
significant
Add an article
a significant
the significant
show examples
 change
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the plan of
Use synonyms
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
 in the years 2001 and 2009 . First of all, in both years 2001 and 2009 in
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
 diagram librarian's desk there was
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 location
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
no Chang . It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can be seen nuder in the right hand there
added
Verb problem
was
show examples
 a computer section in 2009
whereas
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there was a
hug
Correct your spelling
huge
show examples
 change in 2001 in the west there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 two
section
Change to a plural noun
sections
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
removed to
constructed
Wrong verb form
construct
show examples
 six regions by 2009.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the plan of
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 added
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 area in 2009 it was
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 children's area
moreover
Linking Words
 in 2001
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the north area there was
replacement
Add an article
the replacement
show examples
 the section
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fiction
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 children's
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 by 2009
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 the place of newspapers and periodical was recovered to films and DVDs in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2009. In the middle picture of
Use synonyms
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
 in 2001 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 eight tables
in contrast
Linking Words
 during of period 2009 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 four tables .

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words library with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-service machines
  • computer stations
  • digital resources
  • book sections
  • fiction, non-fiction, reference
  • café area
  • repositioned
  • user preferences
  • management strategies
  • children's area
  • youth engagement
  • educational activities
  • meeting rooms
  • collaborative spaces
  • community events
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