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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tourists #caribbean #island #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graphs illustrate the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Carribean Island, divided by how they spend the days.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a positive trend
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the extent of tourists visiting the island. During the 6 years, the total
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 have been
grew
Change the verb form
growing
grown
show examples
 drastically, more than a three-fold increase, to 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 depicted
year
Use synonyms
. Both
visitors
Use synonyms
 from the cruise or the land play an essential role towards
this
Linking Words
uprise
Change the verb form
uprising
show examples
 trend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2010, tourists
stays
Wrong verb form
staying
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 on the island contributed 1 unit more than those who
stays
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on cruise ships. It gradually
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 in
plateaud
Correct your spelling
plateaued
plateau
 on 1.5
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in three
consequtive
Correct your spelling
consecutive
 years, 2012-2015. The number slightly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in the next
year
Use synonyms
, but hitting back to the stagnant point in 2017.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, generally, individuals
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
 on a cruise have significantly
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 throughout the
year
Use synonyms
. It
keeps
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 showing a good fluctuation
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1
million
Use synonyms
 new
visitors
Use synonyms
 each
year
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 until it
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak in 2017 which accounted for 2
million
Use synonyms
 tourists.
Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, million, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuating trend
  • initially
  • significant increase
  • slight decline
  • momentary setback
  • steady increase
  • minor fluctuations
  • reaching a peak
  • moderate growth
  • notable growth
  • surge in popularity
  • seasonal or yearly factors
  • stagnation
  • growing appeal
  • visitors worldwide
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