The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement
As with the advancement of technology ,
people
way of living has been changing rapidly.Now it is Change noun form
people's
considerded
,that spending Correct your spelling
considered
whole
Correct pronoun usage
your whole
life
with one career
is not a good choice,everyone has to learn different ways of earning as well
as
professional learning should be extended throughout Correct word choice
and
life
.I agree with this
notion and the following essay will discuss it in details
.
To commence,in ancient times ,Fix the agreement mistake
detail
people
usually focused on single
Correct article usage
a single
career
and struggled throughout their lives being mono-income,but with the advancement of technologies and new inventions
the area of work Add a comma
inventions,
is broaden
for most Change the verb form
is broadening
is broadened
of
Change preposition
apply
people
.Although
having one career
in life
is less stressful, mostly
individuals work 9 to 5 and are relaxed.Correct your spelling
most
For example
,they do not have to complete multiple tasks at workplace
and have more Correct article usage
the workplace
time
to spend with family and friends.
On the other hand
,doing multiple jobs and taking two or more careers at the same time
boosts individuals
intellectual abilities.They have more chances to progress in Fix the agreement mistake
individual
life
,moreover
,they are able to earn a huge capital,which they can use to spend quality time
.For instance
,dual-earning provide
them Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
financial
security.So, the pupils are financially secure ,Change preposition
with financial
eventhough
have less leisure Correct your spelling
even though
time
,but never get worried about financial liabilities .Furthermore
,professional learning shaped
their knowledge and Wrong verb form
shapes
keep
them updated about new inventions.
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
To conclude
,while
choosing Correct word choice
apply
single
Add an article
a single
career
is less stressful and master people
in
their profession,but working in different careers Change preposition
apply
broad
Correct your spelling
broadens
the
knowledge about multiple fields,and extended learning programs provide Correct article usage
apply
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
together with
professional satisfaction.Submitted by atiya.noureen21 on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance your logical flow between paragraphs. Use smoother transitions to connect your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Add more specific examples and explanations to support your assertions.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively and provides a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
You have provided some relevant examples to support your points, making your arguments more persuasive.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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