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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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In
this
 contemporary era, a skillset is more essential than a degree. The debate over whether students should put effort into a single
subject
 or learn various subjects is controversial. Let us view both sides.  
To begin
 with, some people believe that, despite focusing on many subjects, giving valuable time to one
subject
 makes them shine in one skill.
Whereas
 it helps to focus more and be reliant on a particular
subject
,
additionally
, it paves the way for them to invent and have the knowledge to restructure complex problems.
For instance
, the great scientist Albert Einstein and his innovations are the fundamentals of modern technologies. These references were used even now because of his focus and interest in a specific
subject
. The success of his inventions is because he immersed himself in expertise, a peculiar skill.  
On the other hand
, some argue that everyone needs various sets of
skills
 to survive. Their belief is that learning gives vast knowledge and opens opportunities to get into many roles.
For example
, the survey conducted in 2017 by a private college illustrates that people should have coding
skills
as well as
 communication
skills
 to get into multinational companies. They expect them to be capable of expressing their ideas and making sensible decisions.    In my opinion, these arguments depend on a person's interests. One should have a specific skill set to solve problems in a given situation.
Likewise
, it is more helpful if we learn many sets of
skills
 to find creative solutions to a problem.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. While you discussed both views and provided your opinion, increasing the depth and development of your argument with more varied examples can enhance clarity and comprehensiveness. Consider incorporating statistics, case studies, or personal anecdotes to support your points more robustly.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, focus on enhancing the logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main ideas. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has a clear central theme that is effectively developed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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