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Band 4.5

having single career is old fashioned now people work in multiple careers to earn more income,and continious learning is the new trend ,to whtextend do you agree?

#career #people #work #careers #income #continious #trend #whtextend
As with the advancement of technology ,
people
's way of living has been changing rapidly.Now it is considered,that spending your whole
life
 with one
career
 is not a good choice,everyone has to learn different ways of earning as well and professional learning should be extended throughout
life
.I agree with
this
 notion and the following essay will discuss it in detail. To commence,in ancient times ,
people
 usually focused on a single
career
 and struggled throughout their lives being mono-income,but with the advancement of technologies and new inventions, the area of work is broadening for most
people
 .
Although
 having one
career
 in
life
 is less stressful, most individuals work 9 to 5 and are relaxed.
For example
,they do not have to complete multiple tasks at the workplace and have more time to spend with family and friends.
On the other hand
,doing multiple jobs and taking two or more careers at the same time boosts individual intellectual abilities.They have more chances to progress in
life
 ,
moreover
,they are able to earn a huge capital,which they can use to spend quality time.
For instance
,dual-earning provides them with financial security.So, the pupils are financially secure , even though have
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
 leisure
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
,but never get worried about financial liabilities .
Furthermore
,professional learning shapes their knowledge and keeps them updated about new inventions.
To conclude
, choosing a single
career
 is less stressful
and
Correct word choice
than
show examples
master
Wrong verb form
mastering
show examples
people
 their profession,but working in different careers broadens
Add an article
the
show examples
knowledge about multiple fields,and extended learning programs provide self-confidence
together with
 professional satisfaction.
Submitted by atiya.noureen21 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and largely follows a logical structure but needs better support for the main points. Try to provide more concrete examples and evidence to back up your statements.
coherence cohesion
The transitions between ideas are present but could be improved to enhance flow. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which presents a coherent structure.
task achievement
Your essay successfully responds to the prompt and discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of having a single career versus multiple careers.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traditional career
  • economic demands
  • personal aspirations
  • diversify income sources
  • financial risk
  • financial stability
  • continuous learning
  • relevant job market
  • employability
  • career advancement
  • gig economy
  • technological advancements
  • digital platforms
  • fulfilling life
  • well-rounded life
  • explore various fields
  • job market dynamics
  • professional development
  • lifelong learning
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